Monthly Archives: May 2008

Gay Marriage in California

A few days ago, the California Supreme Court struck down a statutory regime that gave same-sex couples essentially the same rights and duties as married couples, but called them “registered domestic partners” instead of “married couples.” This, the court said, violates the equal protection clause of the California Constitution.

The court did not say whether same-sex couples should be allowed to marry and have their relationship called and recognized as a “marriage.” As the court pointed out on pages 4 and 5 of the slip opinion:

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Why is it that I only like onions after they’ve been boiled in oil?

Today I thought about what I’ve been blogging lately, and to tell the truth it’s pretty sad. It’s all cake, and french fries, and today’s blog was going to be about onion rings.

Why do any of you read this blog? Seriously. I can’t imagine what would drive you to do it. I think that maybe it’s because you don’t actually read my blog. You only skim it, and fill in all the bits that you don’t read with what you think I’d probably say if I were a much smarter or wiser individual. Perhaps you expect me to make compelling points about life and the inevitable failure of the human condition.

If that’s the case, then I’m happy that you think so highly of me. But it is a little sad, because it means you apparently don’t read the blog at all. You’d just like to think that you do, or hope that you do, or make excuses for who I ought to be.

Anyway, today there were onion rings. I’ve wanted some for a long time now. But even though I enjoyed the onion rings while I was eating them, in retrospect they weren’t the best I’ve had. They needed salt, and the ranch dressing had a distressing tendency to separate. Yet despite all this I guess the mediocre onion rings were better than none at all, and the french fries that came with the sandwich were extremely acceptable.

And so, in conclusion, I like onion rings.

Cake: More Useful Than We Originally Thought?

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat. When I complained of it, everybody asked if I’d taken anything. But I don’t particularly enjoy being medicated, and I hate cough syrup. The most I’ll do is drink water, because you want your throat to stay moist.

But then I had an idea. If a moist throat is what you want, then why not just eat something moist? And what’s more moist than cake? Genius!

Now, I know what most of you are thinking. What about the calories? This is indeed an issue, and one I gave considerable thought. To that end I’ve decided that until my sore throat passes, I will simply confine my eating to the cake. That way, I won’t load up on too many calories. It’s a deceptively simple yet effective solution. Indeed, it was so simple that I questioned it myself. But really, there’s no need to re-invent the wheel here.

The only problem I foresee is that only fresh cake achieves maximum moistness. As such it is necessary that I bake cake on a regular basis. And to avoid wasting food, I must also make sure to eat all of the cake. I am pleased to report that so far this has not proven to be a difficult burden.

My throat feels great now. This new ‘cake therapy’ certainly deserves further research. I posit that the medicinal benefits of cake may extend to other ailments. As soon as the possibility presents itself I intend to study the effects of cake on minor psychological trauma.

Ron Paul: Compassionless Conservative?

Here’s proof that I don’t blindly agree with every word spoken or decision made by Ron Paul. Recently, the House of Representatives passed HR 1181 (“Expressing condolences and sympathy to the people of Burma for the grave loss of life and vast destruction caused by Cyclone Nargis.”) 410-1. Guess who the “1” was. That he was the lone voice of opposition in the House is not news. Why he opposed this symbolic resolution and which symbolic resolutions he hasn’t opposed may be. Andrew Malcolm of the LA Times Top of the Ticket blog explains:

“So Paul’s symbolic stand against symbolic silliness looks good.

“But then along come the sharp-eyed folks over at Radaronline.com, specifically Nick Curran, who finds out that Paul’s stand against symbolic silliness when it comes to Asians whose huts and hovels were erased by cyclone, is not quite so principled and a whole lot more enthused about dumb statements of sentiment when the silliness is closer to home.

“Come to find out Paul has voted in favor of similar empty resolutions to congratulate the University of Kansas football team for a swell season and winning the 2008 FedEx Orange Bowl, to the Louisiana State football team for, golly, winning the 2007 Bowl Championship Series and to celebrate the New York Giants for their come-from-behind victory in Super Bowl XLII. “

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