Cake: More Useful Than We Originally Thought?

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat. When I complained of it, everybody asked if I’d taken anything. But I don’t particularly enjoy being medicated, and I hate cough syrup. The most I’ll do is drink water, because you want your throat to stay moist.

But then I had an idea. If a moist throat is what you want, then why not just eat something moist? And what’s more moist than cake? Genius!

Now, I know what most of you are thinking. What about the calories? This is indeed an issue, and one I gave considerable thought. To that end I’ve decided that until my sore throat passes, I will simply confine my eating to the cake. That way, I won’t load up on too many calories. It’s a deceptively simple yet effective solution. Indeed, it was so simple that I questioned it myself. But really, there’s no need to re-invent the wheel here.

The only problem I foresee is that only fresh cake achieves maximum moistness. As such it is necessary that I bake cake on a regular basis. And to avoid wasting food, I must also make sure to eat all of the cake. I am pleased to report that so far this has not proven to be a difficult burden.

My throat feels great now. This new ‘cake therapy’ certainly deserves further research. I posit that the medicinal benefits of cake may extend to other ailments. As soon as the possibility presents itself I intend to study the effects of cake on minor psychological trauma.

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