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In Need Of Advice

Okay, here’s the deal: I want to eat potato chips. At first this was slightly problematic because I don’t have any potato chips. But after much searching around the place, I found a bag of potato chips I got with some kind of sandwich special. Don’t ask me for the details, because I apparently bought […]

In Need of Advice

Okay, here’s the deal: I want to eat potato chips. At first this was slightly problematic because I don’t have any potato chips. But after much searching around the place, I found a bag of potato chips I got with some kind of sandwich special. Don’t ask me for the details, because I apparently bought them in ’02. Or at least, that’s when they expired.

Now, I have no other potato chips, and I think I’m too cheap to buy a new bag. Should I eat these, or throw them out? If it matters, the bag is still sealed. It’s a little dusty, but otherwise okay.

Saint Bitterman?

Today I decided that every day I die a little bit, until I am reborn through ice cream. And insofar as this is true, perhaps I have found religion. But it’s certainly not the kind of religion anybody ever expected. Nor is it likely the kind of religion that any kind of organized church would support.

And So, In Conclusion…

I like Oreo Blizzards from Dairy Queen. So much better than the Oreo milkshake from the Baskin-Robbins.

Or, maybe I just like Oreos cookies? But I primarily want the cookie, not the cream filling. But with ice cream. Like an Oreo cookie ice cream sandwich.

Hey, does anybody know if Nabisco sells just the chocolate cookie parts of the Oreo, so I can crumble them as use them as a topping?

I Should’ve Been a Priest

I’m not exactly what most people would call religious, but I said two prayers today:

“Thank you, O God, for the blessing of air conditioning, which soothes my rage such that I do not smite those around me.”

and,

“Lord, please bring to me an ice cream milk shake, that my life might be marginally improved.”