Tag Archives: food

In Need of Advice

Okay, here’s the deal: I want to eat potato chips. At first this was slightly problematic because I don’t have any potato chips. But after much searching around the place, I found a bag of potato chips I got with some kind of sandwich special. Don’t ask me for the details, because I apparently bought them in ’02. Or at least, that’s when they expired.

Now, I have no other potato chips, and I think I’m too cheap to buy a new bag. Should I eat these, or throw them out? If it matters, the bag is still sealed. It’s a little dusty, but otherwise okay.

Dreaming the Impossible Dream

Once upon a time, I had aspirations. Some of you may remember what those are. They’re the things that you tell yourself you’re going to do before you die/grow-up/get married/whatever. Now, some of those are clearly not going to happen for me. After much consideration, I’ve admitted that it’s unlikely that I’m going to win the Nobel Prize. It also appears that my chances of becoming an astronaut are dim at best. And despite my best efforts, I must sadly admit that I am indeed not the very model of a Modern Major General (can’t write a washing bill in Babylonic Cuneiform, and I was never good at acrostics).

But even in my old age I’d like to think that some of my childhood dreams are still attainable. With that in mind, I’d like to dust off one that I’ve been putting off for some time: Eat the perfect cake.

To this end I want some opinions. What’s the best cake, and how do I get it? Keep in mind, there’s no way I’m baking the damn thing. I don’t care how good a made-from-scratch homemade cake is. Not going to happen. And I’m not paying more than $50 for it. Nor am I going to fly to France or some god awful place for it. If I can get it delivered, all’s well. But I’m not traveling for frickin’ cake. I just want cake. Awesome cake. Ice cream optional.

What’s the best cake you’ve ever had?


What do you guys eat when you know you want something, but aren’t sure what? Lately I keep thinking that there’s something that I want, but I can’t figure out for the life of me what it is. So I end up eating a bunch of stuff and think, “No, that wasn’t it.” Which isn’t working out for me.

I think it’s french fries. Or maybe donuts. Not cake. I tried that. Possibly lemon squares. Probably not. That’s kind of like cake. But not really.

C’mon, people. Ideas?