Author Archives: Funky Dung

About Funky Dung

Who is Funky Dung? 29-year-old grad student in Intelligent Systems (A.I.) at the University of Pittsburgh. I consider myself to be politically moderate and independent and somewhere between a traditional and neo-traditional Catholic. I was raised Lutheran, spent a number of years as an agnostic, and joined the Catholic Church at the 2000 Easter Vigil. Why Funky Dung? I haven't been asked this question nearly as many times as you or I might expect. Funky Dung is a reference to an obscure Pink Floyd song. On the album Atom Heart Mother, there is a track called Atom Heart Mother Suite. It's broken up into movements, like a symphony, and one of the movements is called Funky Dung. I picked that nickname a long time ago (while I was still in high school I think), shortly after getting an internet connection for the first time. To me it means "cool/neat/groovy/spiffy stuff/crap/shiznit", as in "That's some cool stuff, dude!" Whence Ales Rarus? I used to enjoy making people guess what this means, but I've decided to relent and make it known to all. Ales Rarus is a Latin play on words. "Avis rarus" means "a rare bird" and carries similar meaning to "an odd fellow". "Ales" is another Latin word for bird that carries connotations of omens, signs of the times, and/or augery. If you want to get technical, both "avis" and "ales" are feminine (requiring "rara", but they can be made masculine in poetry (which tends to breaks lots of rules). I decided I'd rather have a masculine name in Latin. ;) Yeah, I'm a nerd. So what? :-P Wherefore blog? It is my intention to "teach in order to lead others to faith" by being always "on the lookout for occasions of announcing Christ by word, either to unbelievers . . . or to the faithful" through the "use of the communications media". I also act knowing that I "have the right and even at times a duty to manifest to the sacred pastors [my] opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the Church, and [I] have a right to make [my] opinion known to the other Christian faithful, with due regard to the integrity of faith and morals and reverence toward [my and their] pastors, and with consideration for the common good and the dignity of persons." (adapted from CCC 904-907) Statement of Faith I have been baptized and confirmed in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I, therefore, renounce Satan; I renounce all his works; I renounce all his allurements. I hold and profess all that is contained in the Apostles' Creed, the Niceno- Constantinopolitan Creed, and the Athanasian Creed. Having been buried with Christ unto death and raised up with him unto a new life, I promise to live no longer for myself or for that world which is the enemy of God but for him who died for me and rose again, serving God, my heavenly Father, faithfully and unto death in the holy Catholic Church. I am obedient to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. That is, I promote and defend authentic Catholic Teaching and Faith in union with Christ and His Church and in union with the Holy Father, the Bishop of Rome, the Successor of St. Peter. Thanks be unto Thee, O my God, for all Thy infinite goodness, and, especially, for the love Thou hast shown unto me at my Confirmation. I Give Thee thanks that Thou didst then send down Thy Holy Spirit unto my soul with all His gifts and graces. May He take full possession of me for ever. May His divine unction cause my face to shine. May His heavenly wisdom reign in my heart. May His understanding enlighten my darkness. May His counsel guide me. May His knowledge instruct me. May His piety make me fervent. May His divine fear keep me from all evil. Drive from my soul, O Lord, all that may defile it. Give me grace to be Thy faithful soldier, that having fought the good fight of faith, I may be brought to the crown of everlasting life, through the merits of Thy dearly beloved Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Behind the Curtain: an Interview With Funky Dung (Thursday, March 03, 2005) I try to avoid most memes that make their way 'round the blogosphere (We really do need a better name, don't we?), but some are worth participating in. Take for instance the "interview game" that's the talk o' the 'sphere. I think it's a great way to get to know the people in neighborhood. Who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhod? In your neigh-bor-hoo-ood...*smack* Sorry, Sesame Street flashback. Anyhow, I saw Jeff "Curt Jester" Miller's answers and figured since he's a regular reader of mine he'd be a good interviewer. Without further ado, here are my answers to his questions. 1. Being that your pseudonym Funky Dung was chosen from a Pink Floyd track on Atom Heart Mother, what is you favorite Pink Floyd song and why? Wow. That's a tuffy. It's hard to pick out a single favorite. Pink Floyd isn't really a band known for singles. They mostly did album rock and my appreciation of them is mostly of a gestalt nature. If I had to pick one, though, it'd be "Comfortably Numb". I get chills up my spine every time I hear it and if it's been long enough since the last time, I get midty-eyed. I really don't know why. That's a rather unsatisfying answer for an interview, so here are the lyrics to a Rush song. It's not their best piece of music, but the lyrics describe me pretty well.

New World Man He's a rebel and a runner He's a signal turning green He's a restless young romantic Wants to run the big machine He's got a problem with his poisons But you know he'll find a cure He's cleaning up his systems To keep his nature pure Learning to match the beat of the old world man Learning to catch the heat of the third world man He's got to make his own mistakes And learn to mend the mess he makes He's old enough to know what's right But young enough not to choose it He's noble enough to win the world But weak enough to lose it --- He's a new world man... He's a radio receiver Tuned to factories and farms He's a writer and arranger And a young boy bearing arms He's got a problem with his power With weapons on patrol He's got to walk a fine line And keep his self-control Trying to save the day for the old world man Trying to pave the way for the third world man He's not concerned with yesterday He knows constant change is here today He's noble enough to know what's right But weak enough not to choose it He's wise enough to win the world But fool enough to lose it --- He's a new world man...
2. What do you consider your most important turning point from agnosticism to the Catholic Church. At some point in '99, I started attending RCIA at the Pittsburgh Oratory. I mostly went to ask a lot of obnoxious Protestant questions. Or at least that's what I told myself. I think deep down I wanted desperately to have faith again. At that point I think I'd decided that if any variety of Christianity had the Truth, the Catholic Church did. Protestantism's wholesale rejection of 1500 years of tradition didn't sit well with me, even as a former Lutheran. During class one week, Sister Bernadette Young (who runs the program) passed out thin booklet called "Handbook for Today's Catholic". One paragraph in that book spoke to me and I nearly cried as I read it.
"A person who is seeking deeper insight into reality may sometimes have doubts, even about God himself. Such doubts do not necessarily indicate lack of faith. They may be just the opposite - a sign of growing faith. Faith is alive and dynamic. It seeks, through grace, to penetrate into the very mystery of God. If a particular doctrine of faith no longer 'makes sense' to a person, the person should go right on seeking. To know what a doctrine says is one thing. To gain insight into its meaning through the gift of understanding is something else. When in doubt, 'Seek and you will find.' The person who seeks y reading, discussing, thinking, or praying eventually sees the light. The person who talks to God even when God is 'not there' is alive with faith."
At the end of class I told Sr. Bernadette that I wanted to enter the Church at the next Easter vigil. 3. If you were a tree what kind of, oh sorry about that .. what is the PODest thing you have ever done? I set up WikiIndex, a clearinghouse for reviews of theological books, good, bad, and ugly. It has a long way to go, but it'll be cool when it's finished. :) 4. What is your favorite quote from Venerable John Henry Newman? "Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt." 5. If you could ban one hymn from existence, what would it be? That's a tough one. As a member of the Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, there are obviously a lot of songs that grate on my nerves. If I had to pick one, though, I'd probably pick "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" by Ernie Sands.

Seeing Red

Hundreds of thousands of people are dead or dying in the wake of the recent tsunamis.
Why then is the richest and most powerful nation in the world spending
$40 million to celebrate Bush’s second inauguration
and buzzing
Iranian airspace
? Our resources are already spread too thinly. Should we really
be partying or contemplating another costly war?

Bubble Burst

Tests reveal strongest brands of condoms

A melon-colored model [condom] distributed by Planned Parenthood performed the worst [in independent testing by Consumers Union], bursting during a test in which the latex condoms were filled with air.

Oh, the irony. 😉

Poking fun at Planned Barrenhood aside, I’m not sure the test CU used, though widely accepted for condom testing, is really representative of the repetitive stresses put on the latex during intercourse. How is inflating a condom like a balloon similar to poking it repeatedly and subjecting it to friction from rubbing?

Sins of the Fathers

There’s been a lot of buzz in the Catholic blogosphere (blogohemisphere? hemiblogosphere?) about a homosexual couple who enrolled their adopted sons into kindergarten at a Costa Mesa Catholic school. Apparently, parents of some of the other students are having a conniption over this and demanding that only Catholics in good standing be allowed to enroll children in St. John the Baptist School.

Not all of the parents oppose the enrollments and one of them, John Stephens, says most of what I’m thinking.

"As for a moral covenant solution, I just think that most parents in school, if not all of them, are sinners in a lot of ways. I certainly don’t want my kids’ admission into the school to be based on my morality."

"These kids are baptized Catholics, so they’re entitled, therefore, to be members of our parish, which includes going to our school. No one suggested the kids did anything wrong, so I don’t see how anyone could exclude them from the school. Even if you took the position that homosexuality is a bad thing, logically you would want the kids to get a good Catholic education so they could eventually get exposure to the faith on the issue of homosexuality."

Let us suppose that the punishment for the sins of the father should be visited upon the son. Is homosexuality more wrong than adultery? Than contraception? Than abortion? Than taking the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin? Homosexual acts are but one small part of the sin of lust. What of the other six capital sins? Surely nearly every parent of a child at that school is guilty of one or more of them. Should their kids be kicked out? Heaven forbid!

However, the truth is that everyone is responsible for his/her own sins. This was established before Jesus came and pointed out the message of love the Jews had been blind to.

"Yet you say, ‘Why should not the son suffer for the iniquity of the father?’ When the son has done what is lawful and right, and has been careful to observe all my statutes, he shall surely live. The soul that sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son; the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself." – Ezekiel 18:19-20

These children have a decent chance of learning the teachings of the Church through their Catholic education, perhaps even witnessing to their parents against homosexuality.

Or at least they had a decent chance until their story made news. Heaven only knows how this will scar them. How many reporters will harass them? How many classmates will torment them? How many parents will look down at them? How many lawsuits might they have to endure? May the Lord bless them and keep them.

Abortion as Contraception

The Washington Post reports that more women are eschewing birth control. Several possible causes for this trend are offered. I have another. Perhaps more women are avoiding prophylactics because of nasty side effects or other unpleasantness and because there is increasing acceptance of abortion as "last chance" birth control. Of course, I’m just speculating since I have no data on the matter. What do you think?

Dress for the Occasion

I was visiting with my in-laws in North East, PA and went to their parish for the Epiphany (Anybody know why it was moved back from the 6th?). I noticed something there that I’ve noticed at other parishes, and it drives me nuts. Those familiar with the Diocese of Erie (home of Bishop TrautFishmanperson) are probably thinking of the usual laundry list of liturgical abuses, such as improper vessels. That abuse, among many mentioned in Redemptionis Sacramentum, is a concern with the "trappings" of the mass if you will. What irks me is the slovenly attire worn by those attending mass, in particular those serving at the altar.

How can people serve at the altar in the Divine Presence wearing blue jeans and sneakers? How can parents allow their children to dress so poorly for such a high office? More importantly, I wonder how priests can allow children to serve like that? I’ve even seen it at weddings!

I’ve heard arguments about God wanting us to "come as we are" and that it’s good that parents bring their children to church at all. Granted, it is better to be there than to not be there, and some people cannot afford fancy "Sunday go to meetin’" clothes, but I’m certain these suburban folks, working class though they are, would dress themselves and their children better if the Mayor, the President, Dad’s or Mom’s boss, or the Pope came to dinner. Why can’t they dress appropriately for the King of Kings as we celebrate the Paschal Meal?

I’ve also heard that priests couldn’t just turn kids away for dressing thusly. Why not? Servers are not mandatory. Serving is a privilege, not a right. Poorly dressed, poorly trained, and sometimes poorly behaved children should not be permitted to serve at mass. They set a bad example for the rest of the congregation and are poisonous to the catechizing aspects of the liturgy. I am reminded of Archbishop Fulton Sheen who said, "If you don’t behave as you believe, you will end by believing as you behave." The Church was more explicit about this 500 years ago.

"It is fitting that He Whose abode has been established in peace should be worshipped in peace and with due reverence. Churches, then, should be entered humbly and devoutly; behaviour inside should be calm, pleasing to God, bringing peace to the beholders, a source not only of instruction but of mental refreshment. Those who assemble in church should extol with an act of special reverence that Name which is above every Name, than which no other under Heaven has been given to people, in which believers must be saved, the Name, that is, of Jesus Christ, Who will save His people from their sins. Each should fulfil in himself that which is written for all, that at the Name of Jesus every knee should bow; whenever that glorious Name is recalled, especially during the sacred Mysteries of the Mass, everyone should bow the knees of his heart, which he can do even by a bow of his head. In churches the sacred solemnities should possess the whole heart and mind; the whole attention should be given to prayer." – Second Council of Lyons, A.D. 1274

As a kid growing up in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, I saw a decline in the decorum and dignity of the office of acolyte. Venturing beyond the orthodox confines of the Pittsburgh Oratory and Saint Paul Cathedral, I am seeing the same sad trend in the Roman Catholic Church.

Catholics: Is this, or has it been, a problem in your parish? Was it or will it be rectified? What did/will you do? Protestants: Is this a problem at your church or friends’ churches? Is this a widespread problem or seem to be limited to certain denominations or sects?

Here’s an interesting site about liturgical ettiquette.