Tag Archives: lust

Porn Sucks

rape-patch.jpg If anyone can articulately explain why pornography is bad, please tell my friend Robyn. Since MySpace is a crappy blogging service and you might have to be on her friends list to view the post, I'll reproduce it here.

"Has anyone else heard about this attempt by a religious faction to heal those who have been 'overcome' by porn? Of all the things in this world to focus your energies on, I have to just shake my head. Granted, extreme porn (such as that involving 'snuff films,' people under the age of 18, etc) makes me less than comfortable, I fail to see this as an epidemic of sorts."

"Sex, in its consentual form, is a perfectly natural, pleasurable thing. People have varying predilections that not everyone will understand. But, that's just the thing. You don't have to understand it. Some prefer a traditional approach with no real experimentation, and that's all fine and good. As long as no one's getting hurt (who doesn't want to be), everyone should be entitled to express their sexuality on their own terms. If that involves putting your sex life on video or in photographs, so be it."

"I just don't see porn as a real problem in society. I think one of society's problems is that society is a little too uptight. We're all naked underneath our clothes, and I'm sure we all have sexual cravings. To say that someone is wrong, or is going to Hell because of something so non threatening as viewing or creating porn, is just asinine to me. That may be your take on the subject, and sure, you're welcome to your opinion. Just don't try to force your ideology on me."

"I have a rather small collection of these aforementioned videos, I'm interested in trying different things sexually, and to be perfectly honest, I probably desire sex 90% my day. At the same time, I've had less than a handful of lovers because I'm what you'd refer to as a 'relationship girl.' Though I have no problem with others partaking in casual sex, it's just not for me. What's my point? Being sexual does not make you a bad person. It makes you human."

"That being said, I believe that in honor of this Porn Sunday, the other Adam and I need to be taking a trip to a little place on McKnight Road ;)"

"*I ask that in reading this you keep in mind that I'm referring to sex in the strictest of consentual terms*"

I'd respond at length myself, but I'm too hurt by her insensitivity. Porn has really screwed me up and I'm too emotionally raw to explain why it's such an evil thing, so I'm relying on my loyal readers. Please lend me your brains and your keyboards.

Addendum: Here are some previous posts about porn and its effects.

Not Just For Jews
Disordered Apetites
Monkey See, Monkey Do
Virtual Red Light District

Addendum #2: Here are some news stories about the "religious faction" Robyn refers to.

National Porn Sunday October 9
Mesa man hopes his story will warn of cost of porn addiction

Father Wehner’s Comment on Seminary Visitations

On Wednesday, I sent the following email to Father Ron Lengwin, spokesman for the Diocese of Pittsburgh.

Father Lengwin,

I have a question I'm hoping you can answer in your capacity as diocesan spokesman. In a recent Post-Gazette article about the current seminary visitations and related comments made by Archbishop Edward O'Brien, Father Jim Wehner is quoted as saying,

"He is being very general. I would not challenge what he said, but I think we need to be more specific. You can have an orientation and never engage in homosexual acts. And you can have some young man who has too much to drink and engages in perversions he never would otherwise. That doesn't mean he's gay."

Domenico Bettinelli, Jr., managing editor of Catholic World News and editor of Catholic World Report, reacted to that statement with the following comments on his blog.

"Never mind that someone with a propensity for drunkness that leads to illicit sexual acts would have a whole other reason to be seriously re-considered for the seminary, what can the rector possibly be thinking? What normal heterosexual male suddenly finds himself a homosexual after having a few drinks? I'm sorry, but drunkenness doesn't change your personality, it lowers barriers and impairs judgment so that you're more likely to do things that are already in your mind."

"This is the kind of thinking that looks for loopholes and excuses, not elevated standards of behavior."

I am inclined to agree with Mr. Betinelli that not only is drunkenness a poor – and highly suspect – excuse for perverse acts, but is troubling on its own. However, I try as often as possible to hear all relevant sides of a story, and thus am loathe to accuse Father Wehner of offering an apologia for licentious behavior in seminaries. Furthermore, I do not think unchecked criticism of clerics is appropriate and provides opportunities for scandal in the Church. If Father Wehner was in any way misrepresented, I would like to know so that I might reply to Mr. Betinelli and others who were scandalized by the perceived apologia pro licentia. Would it be possible for a clarification of his comment to be offered? Thank you in advance.

Father Lengwin forwarded my email to Father Wehner, who responded to me today. He says that he must consult with the diocesan communications officer before clearing me to publish his response. However, I can state that Father Wehner was misquoted and his remarks were taken out of context. In fact, the (mis)quoted comment was made during a related conversation after he had, at the request of the reporter, commented on Archbishop O'Brien's statement that gay men should not be in a seminary. I'll publish his full response as soon as I'm permitted. I suppose technically speaking I don't need permission, but I wouldn't want to needlessly land Father Wehner in trouble with his boss, Bishop Wuerl.

Update 09/28/05: Father Wehner got back to me about publishing his clarification of the Post-Gazette article.

Hello Eric:

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Busy days.

I did speak with our communication office and in agreeing with them I believe I have clarified my remarks in light of the Post Gazette taking them out of context.

Therefore, if anyone else needs this same clarification they can contact me. My remarks to you are not be published.

I again appreciate the opportunity to address the questions you raised.

Sincerely in the Lord,
Father Wehner

His address is jwehner@diopitt.org.

Banning Gays From Priesthood

There are some very reasonable, fair, open-minded, intelligent, and compassionate orthodox responses to the announcement of the new policy against the admission of gays to the priesthood, and the related inspection of American seminaries, to be found in St. Blog’s Parish. Examples are those of Mark Shea and Amy Welborn. If only we could get that side of St. Blog’s to talk peacefully to the other side, for whom I’ll use Nathan Nelson as an example.

I don’t know whether the discourse thus far has been civil because I thus far haven’t noticed any discourse (outside of echo chambers) whatsoever.

Update 09/23/05: Here are three more good responses to the policy (which I’m now hearing isn’t so new, just not enforced).

Kevin Miller
Gregory Popcak
David Morrison

The post by David Morrison is of particular interest. From David’s "About Me" page:

"David Morrison is the author of this web log and the book Beyond Gay, which Our Sunday Visitor press published in 1999 and which is still in print."

"He is also the found and moderator of Courage Online, an online support community for men and women living with some degree of same sex attraction who wish to do so chastely."

"Throughout his career so far David has written on human rights issues, population issues, pro-life issues and chastity issues. In addition to this web log and the writing for his day job, David speaks and writes on chastity and identity issues."

Being Open to Life: An Uphill Battle

Today is the 37th anniversary of Pope Paul VI's encyclical Humanae Vitae. This encyclical reinforced the Church's constant teaching that it is always intrinsically wrong to use contraception to prevent the transmission of human life. Additionally, it continued the Church's constant teaching against abortion and sterilization.

"Therefore We base Our words on the first principles of a human and Christian doctrine of marriage when We are obliged once more to declare that the direct interruption of the generative process already begun and, above all, all direct abortion, even for therapeutic reasons, are to be absolutely excluded as lawful means of regulating the number of children. Equally to be condemned, as the magisterium of the Church has affirmed on many occasions, is direct sterilization, whether of the man or of the woman, whether permanent or temporary.

Similarly excluded is any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation�whether as an end or as a means."

-Humanae Vitae 14

Unfortunately, statistics show that 97% of Catholics use artificial contraception. If you are one of the 3% who is trying to live Church teaching and trying to find a doctor who shares your values, it can be an uphill battle. In Allegheny county, which is 69.8% Catholic, there are only 4 doctors (that I have found) who do not prescribe, perform, or refer for contraception, sterilization, abortion, or in vitro fertilization. That's right, there are only 4 physicians who live out the Church teaching on sexuality and life issues in a county that is almost 70% Catholic. That seems a little ridiculous to me. Of those 4, 2 are pediatricians, 1 is an otolaryngologist (ear, nose, and throat doctor), and 1 specializes in occupational/preventive medicine. None of them do gynecology work, not even the preventive medicine doctor. I called and asked. So, if you are a practicing Catholic woman in Allegheny county, you need to go elsewhere to find a gynecologist who shares your values.

The bulk of the reason for this lies in the lack of demand for these doctors among Catholics. Why, though, are there so few Catholics practicing this tenant of the faith? Part of the problem lies in misinformation supplied by doctors. My gynecologist told me that "Natural Family Planning is an ineffective method of contraception." However, when used properly (the same standard used to measure artificial methods of spacing children), natural family planning is 99% effective in spacing children. She wasn't talking about the rhythym method either. She spoke of the indicators and charting. However, I think the root cause is more than misinformation from doctors. If people were really interested, they could go to books to get the right information about effectiveness. The root causes are people don't know what the Church teaches, why She teaches what She does, or just don't care.

The first two problems are related; they are caused by poor catechesis, priests who lack a spine and don't want to "drive people away", and bishops who don't shepherd the flock. Personally, although I grew up Catholic, I didn't understand the Church's teaching until college. I remember learning there was a Church rule against birth control. I didn't have the impression that that the rule was still followed or "enforced". I never even knew that natural family planning existed, nor did I know that there were requirements for its use to be just. I think I had a pretty typical experience in this regard. I grew up in your average parish, attended Mass on Sunday and all Holy Days of Obligation, went to Catholic school and CCD during public high school. It was only through an orthodox Newman center that is very effective at catechesis that I learned the Church's teaching on sexuality and Her reason for it. Why didn't my parents, who are supposed to be my primary catechists, mention it? Why did I not learn this in catechism class? Why had I never heard about it in a homily? The first time I ever heard the Church's teaching on contraception mentioned in a homily, I was in Denver and Mass was being celebrated by Archbishop Chaput. He is very much the exception to the rule, though. In my experience, there are very few priests who have the spine to talk about such a controversial issue in a Sunday homily. Where are the bishops? Why are more bishops not talking about it? Why are the bishops not encouraging their priests to talk about the issue?

The causes of the third problem, apathy, are different, but related. We live in a society of materialism and relativism. BMW's are more important than babies, profits more important than people. There is a lack of respect for Truth. "Whatever you want to believe is good enough for you as long as it doesn't affect me." seems to be the prevalent attitude. How can we progress to a society where people are more important than things if we don't have a standard, if we don't respect Truth? It is as Chesterton said in Orthodoxy:

"Akin to these is the false theory of progress, which maintains that we alter the test instead of trying to pass the test. We often hear it said, for instance, 'What is right in one age is wrong in another.' This is quite reasonable, if it means that there is a fixed aim, and that certain methods attain at certain times and not at other times. If women, say, desire to be elegant, it may be that they are improved at one time by growing fatter and at another time by growing thinner. But you cannot say that they are improved by ceasing to wish to be elegant and beginning to wish to be oblong. If the standard changes, how can there be improvement, which implies a standard?"

Now that we see the darkness of our society, it is time for each of us to be the "light of the world". (cf. Matthew 5:14) It is time for each of us to confront these problems, to raise awareness and understanding of Church teaching which will lead to demand for pro-life doctors. Each of us can aid in the solution of these problems. After learning the Church teaching ourselves, we can catechize our friends and family and dispel the misconceptions among those we meet. Parents can take responsibility for catechesis of their children. We can also support those who are open to life and have larger than average families who get criticized by society at large. Additionally, it is important for us to encourage our priests to speak out about the issue. Many times, unfortunately, the Sunday homily is the average Catholic's only catechesis for the week. It is important that moral issues which affect daily life, such as this one, are covered. We can also confront our bishops and ask them to shepherd their flock, both by speaking out about Church teaching themselves and encouraging their priests to do the same. I'm not talking about lip service, heresy, or wishy washy statements, either, but real catechesis and real Truth. We can live in such a way that shows we live the value that people are more important than things by sharing our time, talent, and treasure with those less fortunate than ourselves. We need to walk the walk AND talk the talk. Our lives and our lips need to speak the unadulterated, uncompromising Truth. The Truth, which this world is starving for, is the only answer to these problems. As Pope John Paul II said:

"If you want peace, work for justice; if you want justice, defend life; if you want life, embrace the Truth, the Truth revealed by God."

[BTW, July 24-30 is Natural Family PLanning Awareness Week. – Funky]

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Monkeys Pay to See Female Monkey Bottoms

A new study found that male monkeys will give up their juice rewards in order to ogle pictures of female monkey’s bottoms. The way the experiment was set up, the act is akin to paying for the images, the researchers say.

[…]

The study, announced Friday, is far from monkey business. It was sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health and the Cure Autism Now Foundation. The goal is to learn more about the social machinery of the brain with an eye toward helping autism patients.

So does this mean that attraction to and obsession with pornography are neurologically
similar to autism? As someone who has been struggling to overcome addiction
to porn, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that it’s related to other dysfunctional
behaviors.

(Fedora Tip: Counseling Notes

BTW, since we’re on the subject, be sure to check out my links to resources for escaping porn.