Monthly Archives: November 2006

Be Fruitful and Multiply

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Fans of Stuff’s latest about having lots of kids might find these articles interesting.

Bucking the norm, some families think big

It’s barely a blip on the nation’s demographic radar — 11 percent of U.S. births in 2004 were to women who already had three children, up from 10 percent in 1995. But there seems to be a growing openness to having more than two children, in some case more than four.

Family size in America: Are large families back?

We decided to cut through the buzz and find out whether big families really are on the upswing, and — more important, if you’re one of the 50 percent of BabyCenter moms who want a big family — what life is like for multiple-kid moms. Here’s what the experts, both the academic and the real-mom kind, had to say:

How Full Is Your Quiver?

Quiverfull beliefs are absolutist. Purists don’t permit even natural family-planning methods, such as tracking fertility cycles (the only form of birth control condoned by the Roman Catholic Church). Also taboo: any form of artificial fertility treatment. “The point is to have a welcoming heart,” says Mary Pride, a mother of nine whose 1985 book, “The Way Home,” celebrated a return to traditional gender roles. It has sold about 80,000 copies and has inspired many quiverfull families. “You shouldn’t be unnatural in going to a fertility clinic or in trying to avoid having children by regulating when to have sex with your husband,” says Pride.

‘Arrows for the War’

Quiverfull parents try to have upwards of six children. They home-school their families, attend fundamentalist churches and follow biblical guidelines of male headship–“Father knows best”–and female submissiveness. They refuse any attempt to regulate pregnancy. Quiverfull began with the publication of Rick and Jan Hess’s 1989 book, A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ, which argues that God, as the “Great Physician” and sole “Birth Controller,” opens and closes the womb on a case-by-case basis. Women’s attempts to control their own bodies–the Lord’s temple–are a seizure of divine power.

A Joy Complete

Will I never learn? The other day, I attended a Saturday vigil Mass with five of my children and without my husband. Two of the children I brought along have a combined age under 5. I didn’t anticipate any problems. Was that a sign of cockiness or stupidity?

The Vocation of Marriage and Parenthood

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When Funky encouraged me to write a post about my desire for a large family and my friendships with people who already have large families, I could hardly believe my good fortune: this is my opportunity to fulfill my subversive plot to…..(cue B movie horror music)……change Ales Rarus into a MOMMY BLOG!!! (maniacal laughter echoing). It’s only my second post, but this time, it’s personal.

I am not one of those baby-crazy women whose biological clock ticks so loudly that her husband smacks her in the morning when the alarm goes off. In fact, I never really pictured myself as a mother at all when I was growing up – I shelved dolls in place of snuggly, cuddly stuffed animals and dreamed of being a veterinarian. In high school, my career choice shifted, but not my interest in children – I rarely babysat and wasn’t sure I’d ever really marry. After a relationship with a really bad-for-me boyfriend, I felt sure I’d either be a single missionary or a cloistered nun. Sometimes I thought I’d be a concert pianist. The only thing I was sure about was that I wanted to serve God. Of course, if, by some act of God, I ever did get married, I knew I would want to bear my husband’s children.

Enter Squat. The man who turned my world upside-down, taught me what love was and that yes, men were really capable of it, and eventually took me as his bride. We did NOT conceive on our honeymoon, contrary to popular belief. It was the week after we got home.

Now, I had always been pro-life, and supported the Church’s teachings against contraception and whatnot. But at this point, I was scared $#!%-less. I understand how women can be talked into abortions. I was in my 5th year of pharmacy school, freshly married, and dirt poor. And as the youngest of five children in a family that puts the FUN in dysfunctional, I wondered what God could possibly be thinking giving someone like me something so fragile and impressionable as a baby. To top it all off, I was turning my stomach inside out and scraping the contents on the pavement on a regular basis. More than once someone who “knew me when” has told me that if SHE had been as sick, she would have stopped after one.

So how does someone like me end up actually desiring a bunch of babies? How did I go from feeling sure I would turn into my mother and leave my children requiring lifetimes of therapy to trusting that my little ones will probably be OK? How did I go from wishing I were dead to accepting “morning” sickness willingly?

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2006 South Mountain 10-Miler

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Not to be outdone by Funky, nor to waste an opportunity for shameless electronic scrapbooking, if not self-promotion, I thought I’d mention that I completed Lehigh Valley Roadrunners’ South Mountain 10 Miler near Bethlehem PA this morning in a pretty good time: 82:32 (by my watch). The reason it’s called the South Mountain 10 Miler is… well… apparently… you basically run up a mountain (“South Mountain”??), approximately 550 ft rise over 1.5 miles, and then back again. So only about 4 of the 10 miles could be considered anywhere near flat. My splits pretty much tell the story:

mile 1: 8:08
mile 2: 8:13 — very slight uphill
mile 3: 8:17 — major climb begins around mi. 2.5
mile 4: 10:34 — all uphill, about 9% grade!!
mile 5: 8:29 — up… and down… and up
mile 6: 8:07 — down… and up… and down
mile 7: 6:29 — mile 4 going the other way
mile 8: 7:38 — mile 3 going the other way
mile 9: 8:26 — mile 2 going the other way
mile 10: 8:11 — mile 1 going the other way
TOTAL: 82:32

Now I am an inveterate 10 mile runner (this was my 7th over the past 4+ years), and the story behind this race begins with the fact that less than two months ago I ran a PW (personal worst) in the Virginia 10 Miler, Lynchburg VA, (92:38). This was after expecting to do at least (at most depending on how you look at such things) an 84:00. My PR was 82:09 run in September 2004. I laid my failure on dehydration, most likely caused by having too much to drink (3 drinks, not too many for a Catholic) the night before. I didn’t pee for almost 5 hours after that race, even after multiple liters of water and Gatorade.

So the race in Bethlehem was my redemption race. And given the fact that the South Mountain race is more challenging than the Lynchburg race, which ends with a mere 200 foot climb, I’d say that I’ve set a new personal best. The secrets to success were two platefuls of spaghetti-n-marina Sat. night, no meat, no bread, and no wine (darn), a Jersey Boy Bagel Shop salt-encrusted bagel 45 min. before race time, and a 20 oz. Gatorade gulped down about 3 min before race time. My friend and colleague, Allan Zheng, who ran with me for about 4 miles, also ate a salt bagel and had a great time, too. (NB: Jersey Boy bagels is locally owned and operated so if you don’t live near Morristown NJ, you may be outa luck!) And I was of course helped by the intercession of saints, present and future. Thanks for my wife and kids praying for me during mass (10 AM was right about when I needed their prayers), to St. Sebastian, Patron of Athletes (loosely construed in my case), to our Blessed Mother, and thanks be to God.

Update: Official results (pdf) are in.