Feed Me, Bitterman!

I now have a venus flytrap.

I love these things. Imagine: a plant so hateful that it felt the need to evolve a way to trap and kill animals. What stories would it tell us if it could speak? What blasphemous litany would it write? This plant refused to allow its vegetative nature to limit it. The venus flytrap overcame its base nature and raised itself unto the position of carnivore. No victim, that plant. I'm sure it's only the first step. Give these guys a few million years, and they'll be eating small rodents. Now that I'd like to see.

My new plant requires a name. Henceforth, let it be known as Steve.

I'm thinking about designing an experiment to determine if Steve can eat french fries. The way I figure, plants don't have hearts. What's cardiac disease to them? Just think, there could be a form of life that can eat french fries all day and suffer no detrimental health effects.

The venus flytrap could well be the ultimate form of life.

Comments 2

  1. Rob wrote:

    1. Don’t feed the plant french fries. It’s not good for it.
    2. Over-feeding can cause problems for the plant and kill it. So can over-working the closing mechanism. That takes a lot of energy.
    3. Venus flytraps and other carnivorous plants are not hateful. They evolved in nutrition-poor areas — bogs for the Venus flytrap, if I remember right — and use the capture capabilities to provide needed nutrition.

    Posted 18 Sep 2006 at 1:11 pm
  2. Steve Nicoloso wrote:

    I resemble that remark…

    Posted 19 Sep 2006 at 8:34 pm

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *