Encounter With Me
God Doesn't Make Junk
As individuals, we must accept and love ourselves as a unique person created by God, before we can love and accept another. This presentation provides an opportunity to discern our personal qualities by reflecting on how we project ourselves to others, how others see us through the compliments we receive, and the person which God created.
I deepen my self-awareness by honestly acknowledging and accepting the unique qualities, both positive and negative, that I bring to our marriage. This self-acceptance and love of self is necessary in order to truly love others and to recognize the deep love that God has for me.
- What are some of the specific qualities I want others to see in me?
- What good qualities do others see in me? (e.g. compliments I receive)
- How do I see myself? (What is my self-image?) What do I like about myself? What do I dislike about myself? When I'm really down on myself, I see myself as…
- Do I really believe "God doesn't create junk?" How does my answer affect the way I feel about myself?
- What specific characteristics do I see in myself that make it more difficult for others to know and love me?
- What imperfections can I easily accept in others, but not myself?
The content here wasn't really problematic, but it felt a bit like some warm and fuzzy feel-good self-help lecture by Stuart Smalley. "I'm good enough,
I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me." I also felt that there were several missed opportunities to reference Scripture. One example would be "Love thy neighbor as thyself". It's pretty hard to love your neighbor if you don't love yourself. I'm sure you could think of many others. Feel free to do so in the comments.
Encounter With We
Love is a Decision
There is a constantly recurring cycle of romance, disillusionment, and joy that all couples experience in their relationship. Love is not based totally on feelings. Love is a decision, which must be made daily. A daily decision to love, regardless of our feelings, can lead us to "true joy".
Married life involves a continuous cycle of ups and downs referred to as romance, disillusionment and true joy. In this recurring cycle, love is not dependent upon feelings, but on a decision to love which moves us beyond disillusionment and leads to true joy.
- When have I experiences romance in our relationship?
- When have I experienced disillusionment in our relationship? (alienation, separation, or preoccupation)
- When have I set aside my feelings and made a conscious decision to love you?
- When have I experienced a time when my decision to love you led us to true joy?
- In what areas of our relationship do I realize that loving you takes a decision?
- What are some ways you and I are alike? What are some ways you and I differ? How do these play a part in our cycle of romance, disillusionment and joy?
*sigh* Another missed opportunity. Why was there no mention of this cycle occurring between God and His chosen people or God's most important "decision" to love - Christ's birth, death, and resurrection? How about about Christ's love for His bride, the Church? Also, this is as good a juncture as any to point out that "we" should have included God. There should have been an "Encounter With Three".
Funky Dung
Comments 4
That's really weak. I wonder if any of the couples there will actually follow the teaching on contraception. With such lame catechesis, I really can't say that I blame people for not.
Interesting thought you had about teaching a pre-Cana class using Theology of the Body as the primary source. Another good candidate would be the writings of St. John Chrysostom, the Eastern Doctor whose teachings regarding marriage and family are one of the bases of the ideas we have about Christian love. (As a sidebar, Chrysostom is pretty much the #1 doctor in the Orthodox world, but their follow-up on his doctrines regarding contraception has been really, really weak.)
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Posted 30 Sep 2004 at 7:31 am ¶We hated our Engaged Encounter too but we really appreciated the Marriage Encounter retreat we took (ten years later). The rules for arguing was about the best part of the weekend, btw, and got the most use by us.
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Posted 15 Feb 2006 at 9:29 pm ¶My parents began the Engaged Encounter in the 60's. It was not meant to be a "Catholic" experience but an experience for the engaged couple. If you did not attend the Engaged Encounter in the Detroit area, the you attended an off shoot that someone rewrote. In Detroit, when a priest can be found, he comes only to say mass and bless rings. The priest NEVER presents a topic. None of the material was ever copyright protected as my parents felt it could benefit all.
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Posted 25 Jun 2008 at 5:56 am ¶Did your parents intend for EE to satisfy diocesan pre-cana requirements? If not, then I'd applaud it as a useful crash course in the psychological and relational aspects of marriage. Whoever decided that this material was adequate for Catholic pre-cana was very wrong. Preparation for the sacrament of Holy Matrimony requires more than EE (as I experienced it) offers. If a weekend is to call itself Catholic Engaged Encounter, it had better present material that authentically represents orthodox Catholicism.
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Posted 25 Jun 2008 at 6:32 am ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1
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