Mark Chernoff Sucks

[angryroth.jpg]It seems David Lee Roth has finally given in to his gormless bosses.

"Characterizing this morning’s show as a "new format," DAVID LEE ROTH – claiming that he had been suspended for the last two days — returned to the air this morning attempting to adhere to a new set of programming rules, while simultaneously criticizing them."

The first time I posted the following, it didn’t attract much attention. Let’s see if I can get more reaction this time.

When Howard Stern left terrestrial radio (thank God) and moved to satellite, he left a gaping hole in morning drive radio. Infinity Radio decided to replace Stern with David Lee Roth in some markets (including Pittsburgh), and I think it was of the few smart decisions they’ve ever made. Diamond Dave’s show rocks.

I’m the kind of guy who usually hates talk radio in the morning. The last thing I want to hear when I’m still half asleep on the way to work is a bunch of idiots trying to be funny and failing. I want music. Better yet, I want music that’ll wake me up. If I must listen to talk, it better be good. When Stern was polluting the terrestrial airwaves, I avoided him like the plague. His adolescent shanigans were old 10 or 15 years ago. I only found him interesting at the end because he stopped being perverted long enough to talk about the real issues surrounding how his bosses were stifling his free speech, generally behaving like asses, and having no appreciation for the man who made them filthy rich. But I digress.

When Roth replaced Stern, I decided to give him a shot. I figured since almost every decent rock station has talk shows on in the morning, I’m pretty much stuck listening to one. Maybe Roth Radio will be good. Well, it is. In fact, it’s better than good. David Lee Roth is a breath of fresh air for morning drive radio. He is intelligent, funny, fair to his callers, has interesting guests, cool people in the studio, and his format is not the same ol’ song and dance. In short, he’s not only the least of evil morning talkers, he’s interesting to listen to. I actually look forward to tuning in and I’m bummed when I forget to.

Dave’s producers, though, want to change all that. The ratings haven’t been what they’d hoped for. So he’s lost most of Stern’s audience, so what? Who wants folks who act like their IQ is lower than their shoe size? Tom Chiusano and his overlord Mark Chernoff want Dave to change his format entirely in order to better cater to the demographic that matters to them, white Generation X males whose favorite style of music is classic rock. Well, I’m a white Generation Y male who digs classic rock and I don’t want Roth to change a thing. If you feel the same way, save a copy of the above graphic, put it on your site, and spread the word. Let’s overwhelm CBS with a grassroots Roth revolution!

Addendum: If you’d like call WFNY 92.3 Free-FM to complain about this crap, call 212-314-9230.

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About Funky Dung

Who is Funky Dung? 29-year-old grad student in Intelligent Systems (A.I.) at the University of Pittsburgh. I consider myself to be politically moderate and independent and somewhere between a traditional and neo-traditional Catholic. I was raised Lutheran, spent a number of years as an agnostic, and joined the Catholic Church at the 2000 Easter Vigil. Why Funky Dung? I haven't been asked this question nearly as many times as you or I might expect. Funky Dung is a reference to an obscure Pink Floyd song. On the album Atom Heart Mother, there is a track called Atom Heart Mother Suite. It's broken up into movements, like a symphony, and one of the movements is called Funky Dung. I picked that nickname a long time ago (while I was still in high school I think), shortly after getting an internet connection for the first time. To me it means "cool/neat/groovy/spiffy stuff/crap/shiznit", as in "That's some cool stuff, dude!" Whence Ales Rarus? I used to enjoy making people guess what this means, but I've decided to relent and make it known to all. Ales Rarus is a Latin play on words. "Avis rarus" means "a rare bird" and carries similar meaning to "an odd fellow". "Ales" is another Latin word for bird that carries connotations of omens, signs of the times, and/or augery. If you want to get technical, both "avis" and "ales" are feminine (requiring "rara", but they can be made masculine in poetry (which tends to breaks lots of rules). I decided I'd rather have a masculine name in Latin. ;) Yeah, I'm a nerd. So what? :-P Wherefore blog? It is my intention to "teach in order to lead others to faith" by being always "on the lookout for occasions of announcing Christ by word, either to unbelievers . . . or to the faithful" through the "use of the communications media". I also act knowing that I "have the right and even at times a duty to manifest to the sacred pastors [my] opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the Church, and [I] have a right to make [my] opinion known to the other Christian faithful, with due regard to the integrity of faith and morals and reverence toward [my and their] pastors, and with consideration for the common good and the dignity of persons." (adapted from CCC 904-907) Statement of Faith I have been baptized and confirmed in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I, therefore, renounce Satan; I renounce all his works; I renounce all his allurements. I hold and profess all that is contained in the Apostles' Creed, the Niceno- Constantinopolitan Creed, and the Athanasian Creed. Having been buried with Christ unto death and raised up with him unto a new life, I promise to live no longer for myself or for that world which is the enemy of God but for him who died for me and rose again, serving God, my heavenly Father, faithfully and unto death in the holy Catholic Church. I am obedient to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. That is, I promote and defend authentic Catholic Teaching and Faith in union with Christ and His Church and in union with the Holy Father, the Bishop of Rome, the Successor of St. Peter. Thanks be unto Thee, O my God, for all Thy infinite goodness, and, especially, for the love Thou hast shown unto me at my Confirmation. I Give Thee thanks that Thou didst then send down Thy Holy Spirit unto my soul with all His gifts and graces. May He take full possession of me for ever. May His divine unction cause my face to shine. May His heavenly wisdom reign in my heart. May His understanding enlighten my darkness. May His counsel guide me. May His knowledge instruct me. May His piety make me fervent. May His divine fear keep me from all evil. Drive from my soul, O Lord, all that may defile it. Give me grace to be Thy faithful soldier, that having fought the good fight of faith, I may be brought to the crown of everlasting life, through the merits of Thy dearly beloved Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Behind the Curtain: an Interview With Funky Dung (Thursday, March 03, 2005) I try to avoid most memes that make their way 'round the blogosphere (We really do need a better name, don't we?), but some are worth participating in. Take for instance the "interview game" that's the talk o' the 'sphere. I think it's a great way to get to know the people in neighborhood. Who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhod? In your neigh-bor-hoo-ood...*smack* Sorry, Sesame Street flashback. Anyhow, I saw Jeff "Curt Jester" Miller's answers and figured since he's a regular reader of mine he'd be a good interviewer. Without further ado, here are my answers to his questions. 1. Being that your pseudonym Funky Dung was chosen from a Pink Floyd track on Atom Heart Mother, what is you favorite Pink Floyd song and why? Wow. That's a tuffy. It's hard to pick out a single favorite. Pink Floyd isn't really a band known for singles. They mostly did album rock and my appreciation of them is mostly of a gestalt nature. If I had to pick one, though, it'd be "Comfortably Numb". I get chills up my spine every time I hear it and if it's been long enough since the last time, I get midty-eyed. I really don't know why. That's a rather unsatisfying answer for an interview, so here are the lyrics to a Rush song. It's not their best piece of music, but the lyrics describe me pretty well.

New World Man He's a rebel and a runner He's a signal turning green He's a restless young romantic Wants to run the big machine He's got a problem with his poisons But you know he'll find a cure He's cleaning up his systems To keep his nature pure Learning to match the beat of the old world man Learning to catch the heat of the third world man He's got to make his own mistakes And learn to mend the mess he makes He's old enough to know what's right But young enough not to choose it He's noble enough to win the world But weak enough to lose it --- He's a new world man... He's a radio receiver Tuned to factories and farms He's a writer and arranger And a young boy bearing arms He's got a problem with his power With weapons on patrol He's got to walk a fine line And keep his self-control Trying to save the day for the old world man Trying to pave the way for the third world man He's not concerned with yesterday He knows constant change is here today He's noble enough to know what's right But weak enough not to choose it He's wise enough to win the world But fool enough to lose it --- He's a new world man...
2. What do you consider your most important turning point from agnosticism to the Catholic Church. At some point in '99, I started attending RCIA at the Pittsburgh Oratory. I mostly went to ask a lot of obnoxious Protestant questions. Or at least that's what I told myself. I think deep down I wanted desperately to have faith again. At that point I think I'd decided that if any variety of Christianity had the Truth, the Catholic Church did. Protestantism's wholesale rejection of 1500 years of tradition didn't sit well with me, even as a former Lutheran. During class one week, Sister Bernadette Young (who runs the program) passed out thin booklet called "Handbook for Today's Catholic". One paragraph in that book spoke to me and I nearly cried as I read it.
"A person who is seeking deeper insight into reality may sometimes have doubts, even about God himself. Such doubts do not necessarily indicate lack of faith. They may be just the opposite - a sign of growing faith. Faith is alive and dynamic. It seeks, through grace, to penetrate into the very mystery of God. If a particular doctrine of faith no longer 'makes sense' to a person, the person should go right on seeking. To know what a doctrine says is one thing. To gain insight into its meaning through the gift of understanding is something else. When in doubt, 'Seek and you will find.' The person who seeks y reading, discussing, thinking, or praying eventually sees the light. The person who talks to God even when God is 'not there' is alive with faith."
At the end of class I told Sr. Bernadette that I wanted to enter the Church at the next Easter vigil. 3. If you were a tree what kind of, oh sorry about that .. what is the PODest thing you have ever done? I set up WikiIndex, a clearinghouse for reviews of theological books, good, bad, and ugly. It has a long way to go, but it'll be cool when it's finished. :) 4. What is your favorite quote from Venerable John Henry Newman? "Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt." 5. If you could ban one hymn from existence, what would it be? That's a tough one. As a member of the Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, there are obviously a lot of songs that grate on my nerves. If I had to pick one, though, I'd probably pick "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" by Ernie Sands.

4 thoughts on “Mark Chernoff Sucks

  1. sibert

    I like good radio. I dig interesting blogs. I winced, however, at your use of “a**hat” in you headline. It seems even more jarringly disjointed 4 screen inches from “crucifixion”, “God”, etc. Please take into account the weakness of your devoted readers.

  2. Funky Dung

    Just yesterday I was just thinking that it’s been a long time since sibert last commented. Welcome back. 🙂

    Your point is well taken. I’ve been a bit crankier than usual lately. Thanks for reminding me to not let my grumpiness spoil my blog. 😉

  3. Amy

    I’m with you… Roth is FAR better than Stern. Millions and millions of times over. I listened to him once, must have been back in February when my husband & I had a shared weekday off, and was quite impressed. (I only listen to the radio for about 10 minutes in the morning so I keep it on a more local station so I can get a weather report on my way to work)

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