Tongue Tied, Part II

A couple days ago, I wrote about the A Form of Sound Words post about “synthetic cursing” and the response from

Joe Missionary. I promised I’d respond to Messy

Christian and Jeff

the Baptist. Today I will.

Let’s start with Messy Christian. FYI, all cuss word edits were made by me and are set off with

brackets.

“If people had known me before my Conversion, they would have known that I sure know how to use

language, if you know what I mean. And I have a fiery temper to go with it.”

“But then I became a Christian, and I quickly tried to ‘purify’ my language. The funny thing was, I

thought by ‘Christianizing’ my swear words it would be more acceptable. I know, funny.”

“So, I replaced [f***] with ‘fish’, [G*ddamnit] with ‘Gosh’, ‘Damn’ with “Darn” and the rest I

totally exorcised from my language.”

“Then, recently, thanks to a combination of things I’d rather not go into detail now, I realised

that it was just utter foolishness and stupidity to Christianize my swear words.”

“I mean, what’s more worrying? The words or the nasty emotions behind them?”

“I may use ‘fish’, but the feelings of hate, anger, jealousy blah blah is still there. We so tend

to focus on the externals. We dress prim and proper, but don’t deal with our wandering eye. We clean up

our language, but don’t deal with the nasty feelings inside. Dressing up one’s swear words is just

another fancy way of putting on a Christian mask.”

There is some logic to this position. Who are we fooling? Doesn’t God know we’re using foul language?

Don’t people know what we mean to say? It sounds attractive. It sounds honest. Who wouldn’t want to

avoid self-righteousness and hypocrisy?

Attractive though it is, it is also flawed.

Let’s make an analogy to quitting smoking. Is the use of a nicotine patch or nicotine gum hypocritical?

Does it somehow make an addicted smoker a phony? No, of course it doesn’t. Do smokers intend to use

either patches or gum for the rest of their lives? Of course not. They are means to an end. Nobody

has any doubt that people using either would rather be smoking cigarettes. However, by using

“synthetic” means instead, they are demonstrating a desire to quit. They are set apart from

other smokers. By quitting, they will likely enjoy better health, as will those formerly exposed to

their second-hand smoke, and their loved ones will likely be blessed by their continued presence on

Earth for more years. Even by just taking the step of using synthetic sources of nicotine, they are

helping themselves and others. They are starting to break the addictive cycle and they become one less

source of filth in the air. Words can be air pollution, too.

Unrepentant cursing is not appropriate behavior for Christians. We are to be in the world but not of

it. By attempting to filter or edit or swear words – and ultimately discard them entirely – we set

ourselves apart from the rest of society. This has two benefits. The first regards witnessing. If we

demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit, among them self-control, we will be recognizable to each other and

to the world as Christians. Let us not be stumbling blocks – scandals – to anyone. The second benefit

is to ourselves. As Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, “If you don’t behave as you believe, you will

end by believing as you behave.”. Substitutions for curse words are not meant to be an optimal

solution. Like nicotine patches and gum. they are a means to an end. The more you use foul language,

the more desensitized to it you will become. Substitution should be an exercise for our atrophied

internal editors. Many of us in the Body of Christ seem to have forgotten how to guard our thoughts.

The process of remembering starts with biting our tongues.

“Now I am just too apathetic to play the masking game, so I don’t even bother hiding my swear words

anymore. Sure, I don’t swear as much as I used to because I’d rather control myself and not pepper my

dialogue with as many [‘f***s’] and “damn yous” just to look cool. I mean, that’s sad and lame.”

“But when I’m angry – which happens far too often these days – I don’t bother disguising my

language for Christian consumption anymore. Let’s call a tulip and tulip, shall we?”

….

“I know some of you may not agree with my stance, and you know what? I wish I can come to a point

when I don’t have to swear anymore, but here I am … where I am!”

Apathy? Should any Christian lack empathy and sympathy for others? St. Paul taught that though all

things are permissible, not all things are edifying. If your language offends other Christians, you

should curb it, not because foul language is forbidden, but because your brother/sister is offended by

it. Being a disciple of Christ often means taking people as they are. That doesn’t mean we should

expect that of others. Aim for the laudable. When people reach out to you, hopefully, they’re willing

and able, with God’s help, to meet you where you are. Why make that difficult for them? Be considerate

of your brothers/sisters and meet them halfway.

Comments 7

  1. Mark La Roi wrote:

    Good post!

    Posted 03 Jul 2005 at 5:54 pm
  2. Mark La Roi wrote:

    I admire Messy’s honesty too. I think where people get hung up is her actually typing out the words.

    Posted 03 Jul 2005 at 5:55 pm
  3. Joe wrote:

    I can add nothing here – this is an outstanding post. You’ve brought up points I didn’t consider and said some things I didn’t have the $*#@s to say. Well done!

    Posted 02 Jul 2005 at 12:48 am
  4. edey wrote:

    i love that chesterton quotation. :) not only is it from “orthodoxy” but dorothy day quotes it in her autobiography “the long loneliness”.

    “edey likes chesterton. heh” 😉

    Posted 02 Jul 2005 at 6:32 am
  5. Messy Christian wrote:

    I understand where you’re coming from, and I even agree with you, actually. My post, however, wasn’t a justification of swearing or saying the f words. It was a post reflection on how I am right now. For a long time I’ve kept that from my readers, a little embarassed and maybe a bit indignant of what they would think. But I realise I’ll just come out and tell people – hey, I swear.

    And when I mean apathetic, it has nothing to do with the lack of care for others. If that’s true, then my blog will be peppered with f words (which I don’t use often!) and the usual other variety I usem “My God,” “God!” being one of them.

    My apathy comes from emotional tiredness.I’m actually, at this stage, lack enthusiasm for religious things and matters. And this leads me to not caring about how other Christians perceive me. Is this wrong? Maybe. Like I said at the end of my post – this is how I am right now. I wish Iwas somewhere else, but I’m here right now.

    Personally resolve is – swear and don’t bother to hide your swear words behind pithy words OR don’t swear at all.

    I’m aiming for the latter, believe it or not.

    Posted 02 Jul 2005 at 3:18 am
  6. ~m2~ wrote:

    outstanding post.

    Posted 02 Jul 2005 at 6:58 am
  7. Funky Dung wrote:

    Thanks for commenting, folks. :) I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner. I was camping and just got back.

    Posted 05 Jul 2005 at 6:10 am

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