Tabloid Tittilation

The Pitt News has churned out another piece of prize-winning journalism. *sigh* The good news is that not every reader approved of the trashy column.

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About Funky Dung

Who is Funky Dung? 29-year-old grad student in Intelligent Systems (A.I.) at the University of Pittsburgh. I consider myself to be politically moderate and independent and somewhere between a traditional and neo-traditional Catholic. I was raised Lutheran, spent a number of years as an agnostic, and joined the Catholic Church at the 2000 Easter Vigil. Why Funky Dung? I haven't been asked this question nearly as many times as you or I might expect. Funky Dung is a reference to an obscure Pink Floyd song. On the album Atom Heart Mother, there is a track called Atom Heart Mother Suite. It's broken up into movements, like a symphony, and one of the movements is called Funky Dung. I picked that nickname a long time ago (while I was still in high school I think), shortly after getting an internet connection for the first time. To me it means "cool/neat/groovy/spiffy stuff/crap/shiznit", as in "That's some cool stuff, dude!" Whence Ales Rarus? I used to enjoy making people guess what this means, but I've decided to relent and make it known to all. Ales Rarus is a Latin play on words. "Avis rarus" means "a rare bird" and carries similar meaning to "an odd fellow". "Ales" is another Latin word for bird that carries connotations of omens, signs of the times, and/or augery. If you want to get technical, both "avis" and "ales" are feminine (requiring "rara", but they can be made masculine in poetry (which tends to breaks lots of rules). I decided I'd rather have a masculine name in Latin. ;) Yeah, I'm a nerd. So what? :-P Wherefore blog? It is my intention to "teach in order to lead others to faith" by being always "on the lookout for occasions of announcing Christ by word, either to unbelievers . . . or to the faithful" through the "use of the communications media". I also act knowing that I "have the right and even at times a duty to manifest to the sacred pastors [my] opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the Church, and [I] have a right to make [my] opinion known to the other Christian faithful, with due regard to the integrity of faith and morals and reverence toward [my and their] pastors, and with consideration for the common good and the dignity of persons." (adapted from CCC 904-907) Statement of Faith I have been baptized and confirmed in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I, therefore, renounce Satan; I renounce all his works; I renounce all his allurements. I hold and profess all that is contained in the Apostles' Creed, the Niceno- Constantinopolitan Creed, and the Athanasian Creed. Having been buried with Christ unto death and raised up with him unto a new life, I promise to live no longer for myself or for that world which is the enemy of God but for him who died for me and rose again, serving God, my heavenly Father, faithfully and unto death in the holy Catholic Church. I am obedient to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. That is, I promote and defend authentic Catholic Teaching and Faith in union with Christ and His Church and in union with the Holy Father, the Bishop of Rome, the Successor of St. Peter. Thanks be unto Thee, O my God, for all Thy infinite goodness, and, especially, for the love Thou hast shown unto me at my Confirmation. I Give Thee thanks that Thou didst then send down Thy Holy Spirit unto my soul with all His gifts and graces. May He take full possession of me for ever. May His divine unction cause my face to shine. May His heavenly wisdom reign in my heart. May His understanding enlighten my darkness. May His counsel guide me. May His knowledge instruct me. May His piety make me fervent. May His divine fear keep me from all evil. Drive from my soul, O Lord, all that may defile it. Give me grace to be Thy faithful soldier, that having fought the good fight of faith, I may be brought to the crown of everlasting life, through the merits of Thy dearly beloved Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Behind the Curtain: an Interview With Funky Dung (Thursday, March 03, 2005) I try to avoid most memes that make their way 'round the blogosphere (We really do need a better name, don't we?), but some are worth participating in. Take for instance the "interview game" that's the talk o' the 'sphere. I think it's a great way to get to know the people in neighborhood. Who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhod? In your neigh-bor-hoo-ood...*smack* Sorry, Sesame Street flashback. Anyhow, I saw Jeff "Curt Jester" Miller's answers and figured since he's a regular reader of mine he'd be a good interviewer. Without further ado, here are my answers to his questions. 1. Being that your pseudonym Funky Dung was chosen from a Pink Floyd track on Atom Heart Mother, what is you favorite Pink Floyd song and why? Wow. That's a tuffy. It's hard to pick out a single favorite. Pink Floyd isn't really a band known for singles. They mostly did album rock and my appreciation of them is mostly of a gestalt nature. If I had to pick one, though, it'd be "Comfortably Numb". I get chills up my spine every time I hear it and if it's been long enough since the last time, I get midty-eyed. I really don't know why. That's a rather unsatisfying answer for an interview, so here are the lyrics to a Rush song. It's not their best piece of music, but the lyrics describe me pretty well.

New World Man He's a rebel and a runner He's a signal turning green He's a restless young romantic Wants to run the big machine He's got a problem with his poisons But you know he'll find a cure He's cleaning up his systems To keep his nature pure Learning to match the beat of the old world man Learning to catch the heat of the third world man He's got to make his own mistakes And learn to mend the mess he makes He's old enough to know what's right But young enough not to choose it He's noble enough to win the world But weak enough to lose it --- He's a new world man... He's a radio receiver Tuned to factories and farms He's a writer and arranger And a young boy bearing arms He's got a problem with his power With weapons on patrol He's got to walk a fine line And keep his self-control Trying to save the day for the old world man Trying to pave the way for the third world man He's not concerned with yesterday He knows constant change is here today He's noble enough to know what's right But weak enough not to choose it He's wise enough to win the world But fool enough to lose it --- He's a new world man...
2. What do you consider your most important turning point from agnosticism to the Catholic Church. At some point in '99, I started attending RCIA at the Pittsburgh Oratory. I mostly went to ask a lot of obnoxious Protestant questions. Or at least that's what I told myself. I think deep down I wanted desperately to have faith again. At that point I think I'd decided that if any variety of Christianity had the Truth, the Catholic Church did. Protestantism's wholesale rejection of 1500 years of tradition didn't sit well with me, even as a former Lutheran. During class one week, Sister Bernadette Young (who runs the program) passed out thin booklet called "Handbook for Today's Catholic". One paragraph in that book spoke to me and I nearly cried as I read it.
"A person who is seeking deeper insight into reality may sometimes have doubts, even about God himself. Such doubts do not necessarily indicate lack of faith. They may be just the opposite - a sign of growing faith. Faith is alive and dynamic. It seeks, through grace, to penetrate into the very mystery of God. If a particular doctrine of faith no longer 'makes sense' to a person, the person should go right on seeking. To know what a doctrine says is one thing. To gain insight into its meaning through the gift of understanding is something else. When in doubt, 'Seek and you will find.' The person who seeks y reading, discussing, thinking, or praying eventually sees the light. The person who talks to God even when God is 'not there' is alive with faith."
At the end of class I told Sr. Bernadette that I wanted to enter the Church at the next Easter vigil. 3. If you were a tree what kind of, oh sorry about that .. what is the PODest thing you have ever done? I set up WikiIndex, a clearinghouse for reviews of theological books, good, bad, and ugly. It has a long way to go, but it'll be cool when it's finished. :) 4. What is your favorite quote from Venerable John Henry Newman? "Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt." 5. If you could ban one hymn from existence, what would it be? That's a tough one. As a member of the Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, there are obviously a lot of songs that grate on my nerves. If I had to pick one, though, I'd probably pick "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" by Ernie Sands.

9 thoughts on “Tabloid Tittilation

  1. steve

    Can’t adults deal with whatever is in the paper?

    Yes, they can. And in the post, an adult, Funky Dung (he’s older than he looks in the picture), called it trash.

    And In the opinion letter, an adult (Pitt student presumably) took issue with “blatant promotion of promiscuity”.

    Who’s not dealing with it?

    The article could have legitimately been considered humor (though certainly not journalism)… if it had been funny–I personally find Ted Nugent’s “Wango Tango” a much more worthy ode to Colonel Angus.

    Cheers!

  2. Funky Dung

    Freedom of speech doesn’t mean that you must be able to say what you want from any and every forum available. If liberal publications want to reject conservative columns, they’re free to. If conservative publications want to reject liberal columns, they’re free to. Freedom of speech, press, and expression means that the government may not impede upon those rights. If no forum will give you a voice, you are free to create your own forum. You are also free to use public property (with reasonable permits, etc) to speak your piece. The Pitt News is not obligated to print the college edition of “Letters to Penthouse”. The standards need not be set so low you have to dig for them. A paper is free to publish a Nazi diatribe if they wish (assuming there aren’t hate speech laws impeding publication), but most editors with even a modicum of consideration for sensitive readers would likely think better of it. Some people don’t have a problem with smut and will gladly publish it (e.g. Larry Flynt). Why must a college paper, which wishes to project and maintain an image of respectability and seriousness?

  3. John Thompson

    I am not arguing in favor of her ideas. I am arguing that we should be slower to say that she should not express them. We are a nation that has decided to let Nazis rally in our streets rather than suffer any loss of our prescious freedom. Yet any mention of sex gets us unreasonably riled up. She can speak her piece, and if you disagree with it, that’s fine, but that’s no reason she shouldn’t speak it.

  4. John Thompson

    It strike me that Mathew Wilson needs to hunt down a bio major, because he needs to find some tonges to remove that stick from his ass.

    Although I suppose he has a point. I mean, how DARE SHE express a thought that does not agree wtih all of Mathew Wilson’s beliefs.

  5. Funky Dung

    It’s a matter of journalist integrity and image. Does the Pitt News want to be taken seriously as a news publication? I’ve been reading it for nine years and it seems that they do.

    “One of America’s Great Student Newspapers – Since 1906”

    What’s so great about smut? Leave that to City Paper or some other magazine-format paper. If their news stories were on par with tabloid sensationalism, I might be more understanding. The news, however amatuer, is a genuine attempt at journalism. Graphic descriptions of sexual activities don’t belong in a respectable paper. What’s next, a page 6 girl?

  6. Jerry Nora

    John, I don’t think Eric is arguing for legal measures against the Pitt News. He is rightfully calling the student newspaper a trashy joke of a rag, to put it lightly, and saying that what it publishes as inappropriate.

    You can deliver weighty opinions on serious national issues. Or you could could make puns on the President’s surname and the female pubic region. You cannot do both–we do not consider the likes of Whoopi Goldberg or Margaret Cho to be on the same level as Bill Buckley or even a higher-level comic like Al Franken. This is not persecution, it’s just the way things work.

    The Pitt News is free to publish this horsemanure–it has demonstrated this by publishing it numerous times–but actions have consequences. One of those consequences is that this newspaper is killing its name as a respectable institution, and many “adult” papers have done the same thing. Funky and I think this is wrong and decry it. We aren’t gagging anyone, just airing out our own views like other Americans.

    I am free to ignore the Pitt News, and usually I gleefully indulge in this right day after day, sometimes not even thinking about the stupid rag for weeks on end. But I gladly end my slumber for this debate, because I asser that as a free people we can and must police ourselves.

    Self-policing is something that we all do, to the point that we take it for granted. For instance, we can let the Nazis or Klansmen march in the public square because it is a PUBLIC square. But, we can also legislate morality by teaching kids about slavery and the Holocaust and why toleration of others is a good thing. The kiddies can then go shave their heads or dress up like Casper the Friendly Ghost, but freedom does not mean a value-free environment. We can teach otherwise, and must. If people cannot reason, or respect the rights of others, we will not have democracy, we’ll have…well, Mogadishu or Sadr City.

    Funkydung, like myself, as reasoning adults and Pitt alumni oppose the Pitt News as a black mark on our alma mater’s name. This has nothing to do with the Constitution; Funky and I have not mentioned banning the Pitt News, just like neither of us would legally ban the Nazis or Klansmen (and no, I do not put them on the same moral level).

    You are correct in saying that we can fall into a “soft tyranny” by ignoring rather than persecuting dissenting voices. I prefer to spend my limited time on more productive discussions. You, Mr. Thompson, and Theomorph elsewhere on the comments section of this blog are two such productive sparring partners. Hence why I’m here and not at http://www.pittnews.com. If the Pitt News staff want to indulge in sexual hijinks or potty humor like the City Paper, fine, insofar as it does not violate University policy. I’ll take my business elsewhere, and encourage more productive channels for students. That seems much more in agreement with your laudable desire to “aggressively seek out and advance the freedom of independent th

  7. John Thompson

    She is writing about something that is of practical relevence to many of her readers.
    Also, she is writing in a paper that is not distributed to families. So there is no need to worry about children reading it, so where is the concern? Can’t adults deal with whatever is in the paper?

  8. John Thompson

    You are treading on dangerous ground. We must always be wary of defining rights too narrowly. The Consititution only forbids the government from interfering in our expression, however, that does not mean that just because the government does not do this that we do have a free press.

    For one thing, we have to be very wary because, as fewer and fewer companies their power to censor becomes a threat to the freedom of the press within the country (think of Disney blocking Farenheit 9/11. That is a particularly insiteful example because the govenment put pressure on them to do what the govenment cannot legally do itself).

    However, that is not really a concern in this instance.
    The risk we run in this situation is the creation of the softer kind of tyranny that John Stuart Mill describes. If we as a society decide that there are things we will not let people say, then we are placing our society at risk. Because sometimes we’ll shut up the wrong person.

    Let’s not define our freedoms passively. An absence of tyranny does not constitute liberty. We must aggressively seek out and advance the freedom of independent thought, regardless of whether that htought agrees with out personal morality.

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