Magma in My Mind

From introspection and multiple external confirmations, I know that I’ve become a lot mellower as I’ve gotten older. I’m not quite the reformer/revolutionary I was when I graduated high school twelve years ago. Nor do I have the temper I once had. I’ve even surprised myself, friends, and loved ones by taking on the role of peace-maker, diplomat, or arbitrator. I’m beginning to realize, though, that I rarely fill such a role unless I lack a stake in the matter at hand. When I do, it’s clear that I still have a lot of mellowing to do.

Sometimes I feel as though my emotions are volcanic in nature. Aside from the occasional tremor, I maintain a relatively calm exterior. Deep down, though, I’m really a very angry person; the red hot magma is still bubbling and flowing. It’s come close to breaking out of its rocky shell, but somehow enough heat and pressure are vented off that the volcano remains intact another day. Someday, though…

BOOM!

Comments 6

  1. Tom Smith wrote:

    I’ve only known you for the past four years, and I don’t believe I’ve ever witnessed an explosion. So, in that regard, good job.

    I am just the opposite of you in this regard: I seem to be excitable and passionate about things, but deep down I really don’t give a shit about much of anything.

    Posted 10 May 2007 at 5:01 am
  2. Tom Smith wrote:

    “Since I can’t ban all of these post Vatican II hymns, and since they all annoy me equally, I’ll go with something else. I want to ban having ‘music ministers’ that stand at the lectern and do the thing with the hand. You know, the ‘you may sing now, peons’ hand sweep. The hand delenda est! – Tom Smith”

    This quote came up on your blog’s random generator… is this me or another Tom Smith? I don’t remember saying this.

    Posted 10 May 2007 at 5:07 am
  3. Stuff wrote:

    And I thought it was just me and my mother’s Irish temper that had this problem!

    “Imagine your anger to be a kind of wild beast, because it too has ferocious teeth and claws, and if you don’t tame it, it will devastate all things. It not only hurts the body; it even corrupts the health of the soul, devouring, rending, tearing to pieces all its strength, and making it useless for everything.” –St. John Chrysostom

    Can we agree to pray for each other on this one? I’ve been struggling with this sin for years now, and I know the truth of those words. Thanks!!

    Posted 10 May 2007 at 4:34 pm
  4. Funky Dung wrote:

    I stand corrected, Tom. It was actually Tom “Der Tommisar” from Donegal Express. I’ll fix the quote credit accordingly. :)

    Posted 10 May 2007 at 5:18 pm
  5. Funky Dung wrote:

    Obviously, I thought it sounded like a remark you’d make. 😉

    Posted 10 May 2007 at 5:24 pm
  6. Advogado wrote:

    While it is not usually thought of as a cure for anger management, I recommend travel as part of a long term change in attitude. I read your post while I was down in Jamaica, and realized a couple things:

    1. International travel smacks you in the face in ways you dont expect
    2. Travel gives you different perspectives with which to view things that have caused or continue to cause you anger
    3. Travel creates opportunities to gain new insight into yourself (a priceless thing to achieve)
    4. You (Mr. Dung) have a lot in common with the guy I was staying with.

    I have to note that I do not recommend Jamaica for most, unless you plan to spend all your time inside a resort but then you would miss out on the benefits listed above. There is no shortage of places I would be happy to recommend. Im meaning to write up a post on the entire trip, and you will see why I do not recommend Jamaica it for the novice, and hopefully Ill be able to illustrate some of the points above.

    Posted 21 May 2007 at 10:04 pm

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