Wow. This site is hilarious! The language gets a little rough at times, but it’s worth it in my book. Go here to see just about every lame, dorky, poser band ever to take a promotional photo.
Your Band Sucks
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Tag Archives: stupidity
Piracy-Proof Music
Here's a clever jab at RIAA's greedy, paranoid antics.
Music Industry Unveils New Piracy-Proof Format: A Black, Plastic Disc With Grooves On It
Music bosses have unveiled a revolutionary new recording format that they hope
will help win the war on illegal file sharing which is thought to be costing the
industry millions of dollars in lost revenue. Nicknamed the ‘Record’, the new format takes the form of a black, vinyl disc
measuring 12 inches in diameter, which must be played on a specially designed
‘turntable’.“We can state with absolute certainty that no computer in the world can access
the data on this disc,” said spokesman Brett Campbell. “We are also confident
that no-one is going to be able to produce pirate copies in this format without
going to a heck of a lot of trouble. This is without doubt the best anti-piracy
invention the music industry has ever seen.”
Privacy or Paranoia?
Net Users Try to Elude the Google Grasp
By JENNIFER 8. LEE
THE Internet has reminded Camberley Crick that there are disadvantages to having a distinctive name. In June, Ms. Crick, 24, who works part time as a computer tutor, went to a Manhattan apartment to help a 40-something man learn Windows XP. After their session, the man pulled out a half-inch stack of printouts of Web pages he said he had found by typing Ms. Crick’s name into Google, the popular search engine.
“You’ve been a busy bee,” she says he joked. Among the things he had found were her family Web site, a computer game she had designed for a freshman college class, a program from a concert she had performed in and a short story she wrote in elementary school called “Timmy the Turtle.”
“He seemed to know an awful lot about me,” Ms. Crick said, including the names of her siblings. “In the back of my mind, I was thinking I should leave soon.”
When she got home, she immediately removed some information from the family Web site, including the turtle story, which her father had posted in 1995, “when the Web was more innocent,” she said. But then she discovered that a copy of the story remains available through Google’s database of archived Web pages. “You can’t remove pieces of yourself from the Web,” Ms. Crick said.
I don’t like having my privacy invaded any more than the next guy, but people have to realize that if you post something on the web, it’s published for the world to see. Don’t be so shocked when people know all your intimate details. It’s your own fault for positing a “dear diary” weblog. Also, why does Google have to be implicated in this? They don’t deserve bad press just for being the best search engine on the web.
Cathedral Ruination
This cathedral’s so-called “renovation” is an abomination. On top of the that, the archbishop who authorized it is downright insubordinate and disrespectful of the Vatican’s authority.
Weakland’s Cathedral Renovations
Modern iconoclasts continue turning artistic treasures into pagan atrocities
Last week, Archbishop Rembert G. Weakland began a $4.5 million renovation of the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist. Despite numerous and repeated protests from thousands of local Catholics and formal instruction from the Vatican to halt the renovation plans, workers began dismantling the high altar and crushing the surrounding marble columns.
Hilarious Spoof
I found this on the CIAC Hoaxbusters site. It’s a hilarious spoof of the lame-o sympathy chain-mail that every internet newbie forwards.
“I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t. She is crying. (Don’t cry, Mommy!) Mommy is always sad, but she says it’s not my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but she didn’t answer, and only started crying harder, so I don’t ask her that anymore.”
“The reason she is so sad is that I’m so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn’t hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin’ no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.”
“Mommy doesn’t work because she said employers don’t hire crying people. I said, ‘Don’t cry, Mommy,’ and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she’s allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me.”
“You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Van Nostrem from the clinic said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors.”
“The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels.”
“Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don’t want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don’t forward this e-mail, that’s OK. Mommy says you’re a mean heartless shithead who doesn’t care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that, if you don’t stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death so you can burn forever in the tar pits of hell. What kind of goddamned person are you that you can’t take five fucking minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?”
“Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy. One time I had a puppy but he ate my leaves.”
“Thank You.”
“The boy with just a head. And a burlap sack for a body.”