Tag Archives: humor and oddities

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Things People Said
Ordinary people can be drop dead funny.

"Human speech is directly responsible for almost every thought and emotion we have throughout life's journey. The complexity of language and the complex messages we use it to communicate leave the possibilities wide open for just about anything. Among other things, people can say things that are funny. We pay good money to see comedians say funny things, and a lot of them come through. But due to the nature of the human comic sense, the deliberateness of a comedian can dilute the potential for humor."

"This page features humor that bypasses that. The humor here is, for the most part, unrehearsed and unintentional. Hundreds of quotations are listed. There are lines spoken by people intending to say something else. There are lines spoken by people who misunderstood something or other. They may or may not have known any better. The intricacies of human language may have fouled them up, or perhaps unfortunate slips of the tongue led them to ignominy. Whatever the case, there's a lot to laugh at."

Lost in America

(“Lost in America” is a song by Alice Cooper)

The following is a very long, but interesting, article about the current exodus from suburbs into sub-suburbs (or “exurbs” as the author calls them).

Patio Man and the Sprawl People
America’s newest suburbs.
by David Brooks

I DON’T KNOW if you’ve ever noticed the expression of a man who is about to buy a first-class barbecue grill. He walks into a Home Depot or Lowe’s or one of the other mega hardware complexes and his eyes are glistening with a faraway visionary zeal, like one of those old prophets gazing into the promised land. His lips are parted and twitching slightly. Inside the megastore, the grills are just past the racks of affordable- house plan books, in the yard-machinery section. They are arrayed magnificently next to the vehicles that used to be known as rider mowers but are now known as lawn tractors, because to call them rider mowers doesn’t really convey the steroid-enhanced M-1 tank power of the things.

Piracy-Proof Music

Here's a clever jab at RIAA's greedy, paranoid antics.

Music Industry Unveils New Piracy-Proof Format: A Black, Plastic Disc With Grooves On It

Music bosses have unveiled a revolutionary new recording format that they hope
will help win the war on illegal file sharing which is thought to be costing the
industry millions of dollars in lost revenue. Nicknamed the ‘Record’, the new format takes the form of a black, vinyl disc
measuring 12 inches in diameter, which must be played on a specially designed
‘turntable’.

“We can state with absolute certainty that no computer in the world can access
the data on this disc,” said spokesman Brett Campbell. “We are also confident
that no-one is going to be able to produce pirate copies in this format without
going to a heck of a lot of trouble. This is without doubt the best anti-piracy
invention the music industry has ever seen.”