Category Archives: arts and entertainment

Diamond Dave

[angryroth.jpg]When Howard Stern left terrestrial radio (thank God) and moved to satellite, he left a gaping hole in morning drive radio. Infinity Radio decided to replace Stern with David Lee Roth in some markets (including Pittsburgh), and I think it was of the few smart decisions they’ve ever made. Diamond Dave’s show rocks.

I’m the kind of guy who usually hates talk radio in the morning. The last thing I want to hear when I’m still half asleep on the way to work is a bunch of idiots trying to be funny and failing. I want music. Better yet, I want music that’ll wake me up. If I must listen to talk, it better be good. When Stern was polluting the terrestrial airwaves, I avoided him like the plague. His adolescent shanigans were old 10 or 15 years ago. I only found him interesting at the end because he stopped being perverted long enough to talk about the real issues surrounding how his bosses were stifling his free speech, generally behaving like asses, and having no appreciation for the man who made them filthy rich. But I digress.

When Roth replaced Stern, I decided to give him a shot. I figured since almost every decent rock station has talk shows on in the morning, I’m pretty much stuck listening to one. Maybe Roth Radio will be good. Well, it is. In fact, it’s better than good. David Lee Roth is a breath of fresh air for morning drive radio. He is intelligent, funny, fair to his callers, has interesting guests, cool people in the studio, and his format is not the same ol’ song and dance. In short, he’s not only the least of evil morning talkers, he’s interesting to listen to. I actually look forward to tuning in and I’m bummed when I forget to.

Dave’s producers, though, want to change all that. The ratings haven’t been what they’d hoped for. So he’s lost most of Stern’s audience, so what? Who wants folks who act like their IQ is lower than their shoe size? Tom Chiusano and his overlord (whose name I’ve forgetten) want Dave to change his format entirely in order to better cater to the demographic that matters to them, white Generation X males whose favorite style of music is classic rock. Well, I’m a white Generation Y male who digs classic rock and I don’t want Roth to change a thing. If you feel the same way, save a copy of the above graphic, put it on your site, and spread the word. Let’s overwhelm Infinity with a grassroots Roth revolution!

Addendum 03/09/06: Here’s some additional info that should make it clearer what kind of crap Roth is dealing with.

"After David Lee Roth’s bosses had a little talk with him about ways to improve his low-rated morning program, Roth cut loose on the air Wednesday morning, calling his superiors ‘social retards’ and ‘beige baby-food sissies.’ He was referring to WFNY/New York station manager Tom Chiusano and CBS Radio programming VP Mark Chernoff. ‘They want me to copy Howard [Stern],’ Roth said, according to the New York Daily News. ‘But I refuse to regiment this show… I told them I would quit if they will not let me do what I was hired to do, which is create something unique.’"

"Roth explained that his bosses told him he should appeal to ‘a 35-year-old white male who likes Lynyrd Skynyrd’ and that they asked him to stop using ‘foreign’ and ‘ethnic’ music for soundbeds. He responded by saying, ‘This show isn’t designed for a demographic. It’s for everyone.’"

….

"Roth also said that he was told he will soon have a female newscaster to read current events so that he can make comments. ‘That’s Robin Quivers,’ he said. ‘But there’s only one Robin Quivers. Just like there’s only one Howard and only one David Lee Roth.’"

"Roth did admit that his show was rocky for the first four weeks, saying, ‘I was like a fish flopping around at the end of a stick.’ But he said he’s a quick study and noted Stern’s comments to Sean Hannity on the Fox News Channel where he said a new radio show can’t be judged for 15 or 20 months. ‘Howard took his old audience,’ Roth said. ‘We’re after a new one.’"

New St. Blog’s Drinking Game

I think it’s about time parishoners in St. Blog’s created a new version of the St. Blog’s drinking game. The Catholic sector of the blogosphere has changed suffieciently to warrant it. Here’s my suggestion for the first new rule:

Take a drink whenever Mark Shea uses the word "agitprop". Chug if he engages in debate with pro-torture folks or Andrew Sullivan.

What new rules would you add? 🙂

Addendum 1: I forgot to mention that if the list turns out well, It’ll get posted at the Catholic Blogs and Resources page. 

Addendum 2: This meant to be fun, so don’t be mean.  Also, though some bloggers have really active and interesting comment sections, try to keep the focus on the blogger him/herself.

Music Review: “Urban Cave” by Brother (2003)

[largecd-urbancave.jpg]Brother is one of my favorite bands. The following is a slightly modified version of review of their 2003 release "Urban Cave". I’ll be posting a review of their latest album "Pax Romana MMV" soon. The grading scheme is as follows.

  1. Really Bad
  2. Bad
  3. OK
  4. Good
  5. Excellent

My initial reaction to this album was "Who the hell made this crap and where’s Brother?!?" After listening to it a few times, I got used to most of it, and quite liked some bits. My overall impression are that it’s too short, too electronic, too dark, and too slow. Here’s a track-by-track breakdown:

1. Funny

The instrumental intro is really cool, but the rhymed lyrics after it strike me as amateurish. After the first verse, the song is an interesting listen and kind of catchy. I’m not sure I like the rapped bridge, though. Some days it’s OK. Other days it really annoys me. Score: 3/5

2. Fragile

I haven’t reversed the back-tracked vocal opening yet, so I don’t know what’s said. I didn’t get to hear this song many times in concert, but I’m almost positive that is was "lighter". The musical feel was darker than the lyrics seemed to warrant. It’s not a bad song, but it just seems "off" somehow. Score: 3/5

3. Death of Me

I enjoyed this track and thought it would be a good radio single (and a hell of a lot better than a lot of the crap hogging the airwaves these days). All around, this was a good track. Score: 3.5/5

4. Wear Me Down

The I really enjoyed this track except for two things. I cannot fathom the significance of "This is not an exercise" and the klaxon at the end is grating and irritating. Score: 4/5

5. River

I love this song! It’s catchy, upbeat, and well-balanced (between effects and instruments). Did anyone else think the song had a U2 feel? There are two big problems, though. "Ah there is is" doesn’t really sit well with me; why in the world is the song so short?!? Score: 4.5/5

6. Fly Away

["Fly Away" made its debut on "Your Backyard" in 1999.]

Why did they feel the need to remake this song? It wasn’t a real winner to start with. Now the lyrics have been simplified and the beat sounds like bad disco. The chorus is pretty catchy, but it’s just too simple. I just keep wondering where I’m supposed to be flying and why. Furthermore, the effects and samples were irritating. The scratch that sounds almost like a camera shutter was like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Score: 2.5/5

7. Inside of Me

["Inside of Me" is a remake of "Bitch", which originally appeared on "i you you me" in 2001.]

Ahhhhhh!!!! They’ve killed it! They’ve killed "Bitch"!  This song is absolutely awful. The effects drove me nuts (Noticing a trend, folks?). The song has lost all "rock". I miss the ass-kickin’ guitar riffs. I miss the "urgent" feel of the original. Lastly, what the !@#$ is up with the zoo sounds near the end of the song?!? Score: 1.5/5

8. Mad But Happy

This track had real potential to be groovin’, but it just stops dead after half a minute. What’s the point in teasing us? Then again, 30 seconds of this is better than 3 minutes of "Inside of Me". Score: 2.5/5 (points lost for length)

9. Lonely With You

["Lonely With You" is a retooling of "Lonely", which originally appeared on "Your Backyard" in 1999.]

Another remake – why?  This one isn’t too bad. It’s a tolerable listen and the end kinda rocks. Again, the music doesn’t seem to match the lyrics. The original seemed desperate without being psycho. I really identified with it since at the time I was in love with a girl who didn’t love me. Most of this version has a hippy acid-trip vibe to it. Score: 3.5/5

10. In Your Name

Compared to other "angry" Brother songs, it’s not their best. I prefer "Chains" (from the 1995 album "Exit From Screechville"). On its own, though, it’s a very good track. I really liked the cello. Score: 4/5

11. Crazy

["Crazy" is a remake of a song of the same title from 2001’s "i you you me".]

This wasn’t as butchered as "Bitch", but it’s still not as good as the original. It’s not as bouncy or fun as before. I also really miss "And I don’t want that hangin’ over me" and "And when you come to think again, you’ll wonder what it all meant. And when you think again, perhaps you’ll find you’re just as bent." Ultimately, what this version lacks is the "anthem" quality that the original had. Score: 3.5/5

12. Goodbye

This solid tune’s only real flaws are the weak and seemingly out of tune vocals at the beginning and the abrupt ending. Score: 3.5/5

13. How Do You Feel?

Anybody else think the opening sounds like music from a horror video game? At this point in the album I’m about to go postal. We’ve been waiting this freakin’ long (since ) for new Brother material and we get a bunch of pathetic remakes!?! I never loved the original, but it was certainly fun to sing along with at concerts. Score: 3/5

14. Just Listen

Again I feel cheated. This song is beautiful. Why are we teased with 1:30??? Score: 3.5/5 (Imagine the score if it was full length.)

In conclusion, I’d like to mostly praise the new tunes and lament the remakes. I find myself wondering why the album is an anemic 43 minutes. I know there’s more material to release. I really wanted "Hang On" and "Give It Away". In the end, though, Brother music is like pizza – even when it’s bad it’s good.

Album score: 45.5/70 (65% D)

Amusing the Church to Death

"When church music directors lead the congregation in singing some praise music, I often listen stoically with teeth clenched. But one Sunday morning, I cracked. We had been led through endless repetitions of a meaningless ditty called, ‘Draw Me Close to You.’ The song has zero theological content and could be sung in a nightclub, for that matter. When I thought it was finally and mercifully over, the music leader beamed at us and said in a cheerful voice, ‘Let’s sing that again, shall we?’ ‘No!’ I shouted loudly. Heads all around me spun while my wife cringed."

"I admit I prefer more traditional hymns. But even given that, I am convinced that much of the music being written for the Church today reflects an unfortunate trend—slipping across the line from worship to entertainment. [We] are in danger of amusing ourselves to death, to borrow the title of the classic Neil Postman book."

That quote might have been written by any number of disgruntled (neo-, ultra-, or otherwise) traditionalist Catholics I know, but it wasn’t. Chuck Colson, a prominent Evangelical wrote it. Read the rest and leave a comment here so we can discuss this problem Evangelicals and Catholics must face together.

On a side note, Amused to Death is also the title of a very good Roger Waters solo album.

Superbowl Commercials Super Duds

Is it just me or are Superbowl commercials getting worse with each passing year?  Every second costs a fortune, so you’d think advertizers would make good use of their time by producing the best, the coolest, the funniest, the freshest commercials.  You’d be wrong.  Here are my very brief thoughts on this year’s commercials.  If you’d like another Pittsburgher’s take, check out Gclectic.

Bud Light (office) – funny but the message is apparently “beer makes people stupid”
Burger King – pathetic and awful
Sierra Mist – chuckle, but weak
Bud Light (magic fridge) – freakin’ hilarious
16 Blocks – eh
Toyota – yawn
FedEx – not hilarious, but original
Bud Light (bear) – so-so
V for Vendetta – deja vu 1984
Diet Pepsi (P. Diddy) – catchy but forgettable
Aleve – pathetic use of the ST license
Ameriquest (fly) – kinda funny
Bud Light (roof) – 🙂
Diet Pepsi (Jacky Chan) – chuckle
Cars – looks dumb
Nationwide (rope swing) – eh
Budweiser (lamb streaker) – chuckle
Mobile ESPN – yawn
CareerBuilder (monkeys chart) – yawn (wasn’t funny last year)
Cadillac Escalade – dumb
MI:3 – could be interesting
Dove (self esteem) – touching but doesn’t belong in a football game
Shappy Dog – dumb, poor Tim Allen
Ford Escape (Kermit) – cute (I’m a big Muppets fan.)
Michelob (tackle) – great 🙂
GoDaddy (wardrobe malfunction) – I have no idea what they were advertizing.
Poseidon – could be OK
Gillete Fusion – not new, still lame, how many blades do we really need?!?
Overstock.com – boring
Sprint (deterrent) – funny because it’s odd
Ft. Lauderdale – Dan Marino sucks as a spokesman. Ad is boring.
Ameriquest (airplane) – kinda funny
MotoPEBL – dumb
Sharpie (pirate) – chuckle
Budweiser (pulling cart) – cute
Nationwide (Fabio) – funny 🙂
NFL mobile – eh
H3 (monster love) – amusing but odd
Practical Solutions (clean suits) – eh
CareerBuilder (jackasses) – the joke has jumped the shark (or monkeys or asses or whatever)
Taco bell (crunchy wrap love) – weak
Slim Fast – boring
Gillette Fusion – dumb once, dumb twice
Toyota (webcam beach) – different, but eh
Sprint (Benny Hill) – chuckle
Degree (3x risks) – dumb
Emerald Nuts – amusing
Fidelity (McCartney) – not new, still boring
Budweiser (stadium signs) – creative and mildly amusing
Pirates of the Carribean 2 – hope it’s good
MasterCard (MacGyver) – cool! 🙂
Mobile ESPN – yawn
Beer Institute – educational, Irish only ones with real beer
World Baseball Classic – intriguing
GoDaddy – huh? (again)
Running Scared – definitely not Hines and Crystal
Outback – eh
Westin (nonsmoking) – simple but effective, smoking sucks

Well, that’s it.  I’m sorry if my descriptions aren’t memorable, but I was writing quickly when I took notes.

Did anybody else notice the switcheroo from last year?  We went from erectile dysfunction every other commercial to Lifetime.  I half expected “Mom, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?”  The attempt to reach women was too obvious and overplayed.  Subtlety would do wonders for these advertizers.

Anyhow, the final verdict is that this year, except for Bud Light and a couple others, was a dismal failure for Madison avenue.  I suspect there were some firings this morning.  Let’s hope next year’s better.