Superbowl Commercials Super Duds

Is it just me or are Superbowl commercials getting worse with each passing year?  Every second costs a fortune, so you’d think advertizers would make good use of their time by producing the best, the coolest, the funniest, the freshest commercials.  You’d be wrong.  Here are my very brief thoughts on this year’s commercials.  If you’d like another Pittsburgher’s take, check out Gclectic.

Bud Light (office) – funny but the message is apparently “beer makes people stupid”
Burger King – pathetic and awful
Sierra Mist – chuckle, but weak
Bud Light (magic fridge) – freakin’ hilarious
16 Blocks – eh
Toyota – yawn
FedEx – not hilarious, but original
Bud Light (bear) – so-so
V for Vendetta – deja vu 1984
Diet Pepsi (P. Diddy) – catchy but forgettable
Aleve – pathetic use of the ST license
Ameriquest (fly) – kinda funny
Bud Light (roof) – 🙂
Diet Pepsi (Jacky Chan) – chuckle
Cars – looks dumb
Nationwide (rope swing) – eh
Budweiser (lamb streaker) – chuckle
Mobile ESPN – yawn
CareerBuilder (monkeys chart) – yawn (wasn’t funny last year)
Cadillac Escalade – dumb
MI:3 – could be interesting
Dove (self esteem) – touching but doesn’t belong in a football game
Shappy Dog – dumb, poor Tim Allen
Ford Escape (Kermit) – cute (I’m a big Muppets fan.)
Michelob (tackle) – great 🙂
GoDaddy (wardrobe malfunction) – I have no idea what they were advertizing.
Poseidon – could be OK
Gillete Fusion – not new, still lame, how many blades do we really need?!? – boring
Sprint (deterrent) – funny because it’s odd
Ft. Lauderdale – Dan Marino sucks as a spokesman. Ad is boring.
Ameriquest (airplane) – kinda funny
MotoPEBL – dumb
Sharpie (pirate) – chuckle
Budweiser (pulling cart) – cute
Nationwide (Fabio) – funny 🙂
NFL mobile – eh
H3 (monster love) – amusing but odd
Practical Solutions (clean suits) – eh
CareerBuilder (jackasses) – the joke has jumped the shark (or monkeys or asses or whatever)
Taco bell (crunchy wrap love) – weak
Slim Fast – boring
Gillette Fusion – dumb once, dumb twice
Toyota (webcam beach) – different, but eh
Sprint (Benny Hill) – chuckle
Degree (3x risks) – dumb
Emerald Nuts – amusing
Fidelity (McCartney) – not new, still boring
Budweiser (stadium signs) – creative and mildly amusing
Pirates of the Carribean 2 – hope it’s good
MasterCard (MacGyver) – cool! 🙂
Mobile ESPN – yawn
Beer Institute – educational, Irish only ones with real beer
World Baseball Classic – intriguing
GoDaddy – huh? (again)
Running Scared – definitely not Hines and Crystal
Outback – eh
Westin (nonsmoking) – simple but effective, smoking sucks

Well, that’s it.  I’m sorry if my descriptions aren’t memorable, but I was writing quickly when I took notes.

Did anybody else notice the switcheroo from last year?  We went from erectile dysfunction every other commercial to Lifetime.  I half expected “Mom, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?”  The attempt to reach women was too obvious and overplayed.  Subtlety would do wonders for these advertizers.

Anyhow, the final verdict is that this year, except for Bud Light and a couple others, was a dismal failure for Madison avenue.  I suspect there were some firings this morning.  Let’s hope next year’s better.

This entry was posted in arts and entertainment, humor and oddities and tagged , on by .

About Funky Dung

Who is Funky Dung? 29-year-old grad student in Intelligent Systems (A.I.) at the University of Pittsburgh. I consider myself to be politically moderate and independent and somewhere between a traditional and neo-traditional Catholic. I was raised Lutheran, spent a number of years as an agnostic, and joined the Catholic Church at the 2000 Easter Vigil. Why Funky Dung? I haven't been asked this question nearly as many times as you or I might expect. Funky Dung is a reference to an obscure Pink Floyd song. On the album Atom Heart Mother, there is a track called Atom Heart Mother Suite. It's broken up into movements, like a symphony, and one of the movements is called Funky Dung. I picked that nickname a long time ago (while I was still in high school I think), shortly after getting an internet connection for the first time. To me it means "cool/neat/groovy/spiffy stuff/crap/shiznit", as in "That's some cool stuff, dude!" Whence Ales Rarus? I used to enjoy making people guess what this means, but I've decided to relent and make it known to all. Ales Rarus is a Latin play on words. "Avis rarus" means "a rare bird" and carries similar meaning to "an odd fellow". "Ales" is another Latin word for bird that carries connotations of omens, signs of the times, and/or augery. If you want to get technical, both "avis" and "ales" are feminine (requiring "rara", but they can be made masculine in poetry (which tends to breaks lots of rules). I decided I'd rather have a masculine name in Latin. ;) Yeah, I'm a nerd. So what? :-P Wherefore blog? It is my intention to "teach in order to lead others to faith" by being always "on the lookout for occasions of announcing Christ by word, either to unbelievers . . . or to the faithful" through the "use of the communications media". I also act knowing that I "have the right and even at times a duty to manifest to the sacred pastors [my] opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the Church, and [I] have a right to make [my] opinion known to the other Christian faithful, with due regard to the integrity of faith and morals and reverence toward [my and their] pastors, and with consideration for the common good and the dignity of persons." (adapted from CCC 904-907) Statement of Faith I have been baptized and confirmed in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I, therefore, renounce Satan; I renounce all his works; I renounce all his allurements. I hold and profess all that is contained in the Apostles' Creed, the Niceno- Constantinopolitan Creed, and the Athanasian Creed. Having been buried with Christ unto death and raised up with him unto a new life, I promise to live no longer for myself or for that world which is the enemy of God but for him who died for me and rose again, serving God, my heavenly Father, faithfully and unto death in the holy Catholic Church. I am obedient to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. That is, I promote and defend authentic Catholic Teaching and Faith in union with Christ and His Church and in union with the Holy Father, the Bishop of Rome, the Successor of St. Peter. Thanks be unto Thee, O my God, for all Thy infinite goodness, and, especially, for the love Thou hast shown unto me at my Confirmation. I Give Thee thanks that Thou didst then send down Thy Holy Spirit unto my soul with all His gifts and graces. May He take full possession of me for ever. May His divine unction cause my face to shine. May His heavenly wisdom reign in my heart. May His understanding enlighten my darkness. May His counsel guide me. May His knowledge instruct me. May His piety make me fervent. May His divine fear keep me from all evil. Drive from my soul, O Lord, all that may defile it. Give me grace to be Thy faithful soldier, that having fought the good fight of faith, I may be brought to the crown of everlasting life, through the merits of Thy dearly beloved Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Behind the Curtain: an Interview With Funky Dung (Thursday, March 03, 2005) I try to avoid most memes that make their way 'round the blogosphere (We really do need a better name, don't we?), but some are worth participating in. Take for instance the "interview game" that's the talk o' the 'sphere. I think it's a great way to get to know the people in neighborhood. Who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhod? In your neigh-bor-hoo-ood...*smack* Sorry, Sesame Street flashback. Anyhow, I saw Jeff "Curt Jester" Miller's answers and figured since he's a regular reader of mine he'd be a good interviewer. Without further ado, here are my answers to his questions. 1. Being that your pseudonym Funky Dung was chosen from a Pink Floyd track on Atom Heart Mother, what is you favorite Pink Floyd song and why? Wow. That's a tuffy. It's hard to pick out a single favorite. Pink Floyd isn't really a band known for singles. They mostly did album rock and my appreciation of them is mostly of a gestalt nature. If I had to pick one, though, it'd be "Comfortably Numb". I get chills up my spine every time I hear it and if it's been long enough since the last time, I get midty-eyed. I really don't know why. That's a rather unsatisfying answer for an interview, so here are the lyrics to a Rush song. It's not their best piece of music, but the lyrics describe me pretty well.

New World Man He's a rebel and a runner He's a signal turning green He's a restless young romantic Wants to run the big machine He's got a problem with his poisons But you know he'll find a cure He's cleaning up his systems To keep his nature pure Learning to match the beat of the old world man Learning to catch the heat of the third world man He's got to make his own mistakes And learn to mend the mess he makes He's old enough to know what's right But young enough not to choose it He's noble enough to win the world But weak enough to lose it --- He's a new world man... He's a radio receiver Tuned to factories and farms He's a writer and arranger And a young boy bearing arms He's got a problem with his power With weapons on patrol He's got to walk a fine line And keep his self-control Trying to save the day for the old world man Trying to pave the way for the third world man He's not concerned with yesterday He knows constant change is here today He's noble enough to know what's right But weak enough not to choose it He's wise enough to win the world But fool enough to lose it --- He's a new world man...
2. What do you consider your most important turning point from agnosticism to the Catholic Church. At some point in '99, I started attending RCIA at the Pittsburgh Oratory. I mostly went to ask a lot of obnoxious Protestant questions. Or at least that's what I told myself. I think deep down I wanted desperately to have faith again. At that point I think I'd decided that if any variety of Christianity had the Truth, the Catholic Church did. Protestantism's wholesale rejection of 1500 years of tradition didn't sit well with me, even as a former Lutheran. During class one week, Sister Bernadette Young (who runs the program) passed out thin booklet called "Handbook for Today's Catholic". One paragraph in that book spoke to me and I nearly cried as I read it.
"A person who is seeking deeper insight into reality may sometimes have doubts, even about God himself. Such doubts do not necessarily indicate lack of faith. They may be just the opposite - a sign of growing faith. Faith is alive and dynamic. It seeks, through grace, to penetrate into the very mystery of God. If a particular doctrine of faith no longer 'makes sense' to a person, the person should go right on seeking. To know what a doctrine says is one thing. To gain insight into its meaning through the gift of understanding is something else. When in doubt, 'Seek and you will find.' The person who seeks y reading, discussing, thinking, or praying eventually sees the light. The person who talks to God even when God is 'not there' is alive with faith."
At the end of class I told Sr. Bernadette that I wanted to enter the Church at the next Easter vigil. 3. If you were a tree what kind of, oh sorry about that .. what is the PODest thing you have ever done? I set up WikiIndex, a clearinghouse for reviews of theological books, good, bad, and ugly. It has a long way to go, but it'll be cool when it's finished. :) 4. What is your favorite quote from Venerable John Henry Newman? "Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt." 5. If you could ban one hymn from existence, what would it be? That's a tough one. As a member of the Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, there are obviously a lot of songs that grate on my nerves. If I had to pick one, though, I'd probably pick "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" by Ernie Sands.

9 thoughts on “Superbowl Commercials Super Duds

  1. Rob

    I liked the Degree commercial. Did you catch the “no helmets” sign?

    Apparently the is funnier if you’ve ever worked for one of those companies. Nancy has.

    Taco Bell: Come on — the geek woman was cute!

    Aleve: They blew it: Aleve long and prosper! He takes the drug, it lasts long and gets the appearance money!

    I’m surprised you even got the MacGyver and Benny Hill references! You young whippersnappers are more on the ball than I would have thought.

  2. Funky Dung

    “I’m surprised you even got the MacGyver and Benny Hill references! You young whippersnappers are more on the ball than I would have thought.”

    I used to watch Benny Hill reruns on PBS. I’m old enough to have watched MacGyver during its original run, though. Man, I love that show. 🙂

  3. Steve Nicoloso

    It is certainly a strong trend that the best beer commercials (among the best of all commercials) are invariably for the worst beers, e.g., Bud Light and (not recently) Miller Lite. Coors Light, on the other hand sucks equally in commercials and beer quality. The very best beers (e.g., Samuel Smiths, Sierra Nevada, Dogfish Head), on the other hand, don’t advertise at all, at least on TV. And I suppose they don’t need to and wouldn’t waste their money on advertising anyway. But the among the advertised beers that are passable, e.g., Guiness, Sam Adams, in a pinch Killians, their commercials are almost invariably lousy. What is freakin’ wrong with this world!?!!!

  4. The Waffling Anglican

    I liked the Burger King commercial, if you are talking about the one with the dancing tomato slices. Fed Ex appealed to my sense of the warped. The Bud ads were pretty good, though I’m not sure they were worth the money.

    The self-esteem commercial took me back to Beloved-but-Expensive-Daughter in grade school. “Self esteem, self esteem, they keep talking about self esteem. If I hear one more thing about self esteem, I’m going to puke.”

  5. Emily T

    My favorite was all the Stillers practicing how they were going to say “I’m going to Disney World.” And when they had the black and white shots of the players with the Lombardi trophy…even though that probably really doesn’t count as a commercial per se.

    My other favorite, for my more hostile side, was the Sprint commercial for the “theft deterrent” phone. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Have A Good Sandwich

  7. Pingback: Superbowl Football Theme Ringtone - Dogpile Web Search

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *