Let’s just get one thing clear.  I don’t claim to be some world class psychic (”Call me now for yer free readin’!”), but sometimes things that happen to me poke at that uneasy, subconscious feeling of connectivity to the universe and other people in ways that trouble me.  Some people call it coincidence or intuition.  I don’t think it’s that easily dismissed.  Or, at least, I don’t think what I’ve been experiencing over the past few days has been coincidence.  I don’t believe in “Coincidence,” and I haven’t for a long time.  This post is just a glimpse as to why. There are a lot of things going on with me and people I love in my life, and I don’t know if any of those things will warrant a future post here or not, but there are lots of things pressing on me from different directions.  I’m still trying to find words for most of them.  These latest bouts of connectivity aren’t helping much, either, and they seem to happen the most when I’m emotionally taxed.

Over the past few days I’ve been having random encounters with items reappearing after I’ve gotten rid of them or put them away, specific songs popping up in places they have no business doing so, completely random memories popping into my head, or vivid dreams that are so emotionally jarring they wake you up and your radio starts blaring a song tied to the individual/s in said dream all on its own, even though the alarm isn’t set to go off for another 4 hours.  And each of these things have been followed by the person/people connected with those thoughts contacting me for various reasons (usually within 24 hours).   Unfortunately, most of those re-connections aren’t for positive reasons, and somehow I know that before I answer the phone or open my email.

In the past three days this phenomenon has worsened.  Just a few examples:

• Yesterday, while attempting to find homes for the boxes of books still sitting homeless in my office, I dropped an old book I’ve had since high school only to have a picture fall out.  When I saw the picture I smiled, but quickly felt a distinct sense of panic and worry that I couldn’t explain.  The friend in that picture called me last night, and we hadn’t talked for nearly 6 months.  The news she shared with me was a sequence of tragedies that even I can’t comprehend.
• Monday, something someone said to me sparked a series of memories from college that I didn’t know I even still remembered featuring a specific close friend.  That led to the same uneasy feeling even though the memories were full of laughter.  Later that night, another college friend called to tell me some very bad news about that friend of mine.
• And twice in the past two days I have had emotionally draining lucid dreams about two separate individuals that are very dear to my heart.  Usually I wouldn’t put too much weight on that, but I’ve come to find out that both of these individuals had dreams frighteningly similar to mine.  I contacted the first because the dream was full of bad vibes and him struggling to breathe.  He not only dreamed of me too, but, it turns out, recently lost his job, his fiance, and is in bad shape all around.
• The other individual actually contacted me and relayed a dream he had last night that was almost identical to one I had that woke me up and was followed by my radio turning on of its own accord to play a song that has always reminded me of him.  What jarred me the most was that at 3 AM when this happened, I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one experiencing that.

I can’t explain these things.  I’ve really stopped trying.  They are what they are.

I do know, though, that the universe needs to either drop some serious psychic mojo on me so I can make a living out of this, or back off.  Either provide me with a psychic hot-line where I can wear obnoxious clothes and affect a silly accent, or stop these kinds of connections with others.  I wouldn’t mind if these instances were positive experiences, but they haven’t been.  Not really.  Not so much.  Maybe Blake’s Pebble knew something I don’t about not being empathetic.   Why can’t I get an overwhelmingly happy feeling and that person win the Powerball?  Is there a setting dial somewhere for these kinds of things?  And, for that matter, if the universe is going to dole out psychic gifts haphazardly, I think I deserve the ability to pick Powerball numbers.

I’m just sayin’.