A fellow Pantagruelist, an RCC-sympathizer seeking to marry an RC woman, asks What are my options?
Anthony complains…
We don't live together, we don't fornicate, we view artificial birth control as a sin and believe marriage is an irreversible commitment. I would think the Church would jump at the chance to marry us, since it is rare to find Catholics who believe all of the above, but instead it is we who are expected to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop.
Seeing that there is more total knowledge of Catholic marriage among the faithful of Ales Rarus than in each of all but 7 nations of the world, I thought I'd point any would-be good Samaritans in that direction. Contact info is contained in the forum…
I appreciate your input Funky, especially seeing as you’ve been through these “hoops” recently.
In case your interested, the thread over there has, as is so often the case with Pantagruelists, really gotten quite colorful. I think Anthony got more input than he bargained for…
Blessings!
I can’t imagine the hoops are that bad or that numerous. As far as I know, they have to go through the same pre-Cana classes as fully Catholic couples. Perhaps they have to get the Bishop’s ok to marry, but that’s basically a formality. If, on the other hand, they are trying to have the ceremony in a non-Catholic church, there may be a few more hoops. Could you give us more details, Steve?
I just read the full post. Hopefully Anthony will come here and read this comment because I’m too lazy to get an account for his forum.
The scan-tron “test” isn’t about compatibility per se. It’s about getting a couple to think about possible areas of friction and/or conflict. It’s a good thing. Trust me.
Not all parishes require membership for couples to marry there, though an additional fee may be required. My wife and I took this route. I loathe her parish and I don’t belong to one (I attend masses provided by Oratorians). Another option is to marry in her cathedral. Any member of a diocese has the right to marry in his/her cathedral.
The Engaged Encounter thing can usually be avoided by taking night classes offered by the diocese. EE is only for those who can’t or won’t take those. It was a mixed bag experience for us. We met some really great people that we hope to keep in touch with. The theology wasn’t so hot, however. Read about our experiences here and here.
Try not to think of the “hoops” as such. The Church is just trying to ensure that people are “fit to be tied”. It’s an imperfect process, but it’s better than none at all. You may be totally ready for marriage to be a source of grace, but the Church doesn’t know that – yet. Lots of other people aren’t so ready.