Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
2002 Results

“Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. The contest (hereafter referred to as the BLFC) was the brainchild (or Rosemary’s baby) of Professor Scott Rice, whose graduate school excavations unearthed the source of the line “It was a dark and stormy night.” Sentenced to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist, he chose the man with the funny hyphenated name, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who was best known for perpetrating The Last Days of Pompeii, Eugene Aram, Rienzi, The Caxtons, The Coming Race, and–not least–Paul Clifford, whose famous opener has been plagiarized repeatedly by the cartoon beagle Snoopy.”

Great, now not only will the Feds have invasive computer technology, it’ll be annoying and buggy, too.

Paperclip: “You’re committing a thoughtcrime. Are you sure you want to continue? I can dial the Thought Police for you if you like.”

Microsoft hires national security honcho
By Lisa M. Bowman

“Hoping to play a larger role on the homeland security scene, Microsoft has created a new position to advise U.S. policymakers on information technology issues.”

“angered environmentalists”? How about “angered people with a decent brain and a sense of ethics”?

U.N. Allows First Legal Ivory Sales in Years
By Alistair Bell

“SANTIAGO, Chile (Reuters) – A U.N. meeting on endangered species eased a 13-year-old ban on the ivory trade Tuesday, allowing southern African nations to sell elephant tusks in a ruling that angered environmentalists.”

“‘Ulitka’ (snail), a puppy of a new breed called ‘Petersburg Orchid‘, at the Zoosfera-2002 international exhibition of goods and services in St. Petersburg, November 15, 2002. Ulitka weighs about 600 grams, although a full grown specimen can reach over a kilogram making the breed one of the smallest in the dog world. The price of each puppy is about US$1000. REUTERS/Alexander Demianchuk”

Tax-Free Online Shopping May End
States take first steps toward standard sales tax plan that includes Internet purchases.
Michelle Madigan

“WASHINGTON — When state legislatures reconvene in January, imposing an Internet sales tax could be high on their agendas. That’s because delegates from 31 states have approved a program to streamline the now fragmented sales tax programs.”