A recent post by a friend of mine brought back a painful memory.
"When I was 14, just a little over two months before [Rob] would have graduated from high school, he was killed. I hadn’t talked to him for some time when I just had this overwhelming need to call. His mom answered the phone and told me that earlier that day he had gone out to buy a motorcycle. As he was driving it home, he somehow lost control and wrapped himself around a telephone pole. I was frozen and utterly speechless."
My best friend in high school was pulled off a platform by a passing train and died. Getting that phonecall from my dad was one of the worst moments of my life. Anyhow, I know other folks have lost loved ones unexpectedly. We’re connected by a terrible bond, but we can use it to help each other. At the lowest points of my life I’ve found writing poetry to be very theraputic. I thought perhaps folks still mourning a loss would appreciate this poem that I wrote when my best friend died.
Goodbye, Good Friend
(Craig Bednarek October 23, 1977 – June 3, 1999)
I wasn’t ready to lose you
I probably never could be
But you were taken away
Snatched up
Snuffed out in your prime
Damn it! Why?!?
It just doesn’t seem real
How can it be?
I’ve never known anyone else so alive
So full of life, and energy, and hope
Things like this don’t happen to people like you
Like us
It’s not fair!
I didn’t get to say goodbye
Hell, we hadn’t said hello in half a year
I know we didn’t keep in touch
I’m sorry for that
I can never make up for it
But even though the paths of our lives diverged,
I knew that you were trying to live a good life
A life I’d like to think I influenced
I know you influenced me
You changed me
Helped to make me
Where would I be without you?
You brought me out of my shell
You made me smile
You made me laugh
You made me live
Really live
How can I ever thank you?
How could it be possible?
These words can’t say it
But I have to try
I admired you
Despite all your faults
I dreamed of being more like you
And now you’re gone
And I feel like that dream is too
I loved you like a brother
Better in fact
You were a kindred soul
We complimented each other
I kept you in line
And you kept me sane
I will always cherish your memory
How could I possibly forget?
A spirit like yours doesn’t die easily
You will always live in my heart
Sometimes that isn’t enough
I get so angry
At God or life or the world or whatever
For taking you away
Who had the right?!?
You wouldn’t want me to despair, though
So I’ll try to be sane and happy
And live life to the fullest
To live with your spirit in me
I miss you every day
Goodbye, good friend
May the LORD bless you and keep you